Dear, Field Problem:

I recently found out my husband will be deploying soon. We have three children, and I’m really scared about him going. I have nightmares and crying spells, and though we’ve talked about what I would do if something were to happen, it doesn’t seem to help me feel better. How do I deal with these feelings? I’m a wreck already, and he doesn’t even leave for months. Can you help?

Signed, an anonymous Army spouse

 

Dear Anonymous Army Spouse,

Thank you for writing to us with your question.

First of all, I want you to know that you aren’t going crazy, and you are not alone. We’ve all been through this on some level when dealing with our service member’s deployments, and there are resources available.

Let’s talk briefly about the SFRG, so that we can get that out of the way. It’s important to understand that at the most basic level, the SFRG is merely a channel of communication between the commander and the family members. When we get lucky, it’s more than that, and can be a real source of support as well as communication. You can get the skinny on SFRGs here.

Now, on to the real support issue. It’s important to talk to someone, and it’s good that you’re reaching out while you have months before he leaves, because maybe that means you’ll be in a better place mentally and emotionally when he does. There are lots of resources available to you—talking with our parents and religious leaders are great, but they’re not for everyone. Here’s a list of options for you:

• Try contacting the ACS at your post. They will either have a Military Life Family Counselor or will be able to tell you how to reach one. You can find more information about MFLCs here.
• Call the helpline at Military OneSource at 800-342-9647. They have people manning the phones 24/7, and these are people who are familiar with military life and its trials and tribulations.
• Check out the Resource Database at our AWN main page. I did a quick search using the word “deployment,” and came up with these results.
• Check out the information and resources available at Army OneSource. It is a fount of information.
• Visit your local Army Community Service. They often have trainings that can help you cope with what you experience in the day-to-day of being a military family member. They have options for children too.

I hope this helps. The AWN team stands ready to help!