What I Will NOT Miss About Germany

Author’s note: As I near the end of my time living in Germany while my wife serves in the United States Army, this is part I of a III part series examining my thoughts and feelings as I prepare to head back to America and leave Germany behind. Part I examines what I will not miss about Germany. Part II examines what I will miss about Germany. Part III examines what I’ve learned during my time in Germany.

My wife Jules, myself, and our three children Hunter (12), Eva (10), and Acadia (8) were scheduled to be stationed in Germany for three years, and the way my wife’s Army career was looking, it was possible we could squeeze in a fourth year. Then the military does what it always does, and our world was turned upside down. Jules was selected for a position at Fort Lee in Virginia and our three or four years living and traveling in Europe was cut short to two.

How do I help the children cope with learning that, at 18 months and in six more months, they will once again have to pick up their lives and move? How do I cope with picking up my life and moving at the two-year mark?

I try to frame the issue so the transition is smoother. Happier. I work with the children to focus not only on what they will miss about where they currently live but also what they will not miss. It’s subtle, but why not have them focus on things they are escaping when they leave? I also focus on what they will look forward to in their new home.

For instance, after learning we were headed to Virginia, I had the swimmer, Eva, focus on any swimming pools, lakes, and rivers in the area that we could frequent and to report back to the family. I put Acadia on food duty and had her research our restaurant options—from much missed franchises like Krispy Kreme and Mod Pizza while we have been stationed overseas, to hole in the wall local joints. Finally, for Hunter, I assigned him the task of researching hiking and camping within two hours of our new home.

I did this for a couple reasons. First, I gave each child a research item that is one of their passions. If you love hiking, why wouldn’t you get excited to move to a new hometown if you already have three camping/hiking trips planned? Second, I want the children to know they have ownership in our moves rather than simply being pawns that get dragged around the world with their parents.

Now, having lived in the German state of Bavaria over the past two years, I would gladly sign up for two additional years.

However, as I said, as part of the process of letting go, I’m going to focus on those things I will NOT miss  upon my return to America. And for folks who have never lived in any country other than America, I’m sure you can relate. Whether you moved across the country or across town to a new neighborhood, there are some things you just can’t get used to in your new home.

Please note, I will use the Deutsche words for Germany and Bavaria, Deutschland and Bayern.

1. Yogurt Containers

In case you were not aware, Europeans consider yogurt to be a basic food group. Walk into the smallest grocery store in Deutschland and you will find refrigerator cooler after refrigerator cooler filled with yogurt options. They take their yogurt very seriously here. What they don’t do is put lids on their yogurts. Instead they put a metal foil on the top that is ripped back when you first open the container. In each successive use, you try folding the foil back over the lid to enclose the yogurt but it never really works.

Is this a really big deal? No. But around the world, Americans are known as clean freaks (see toilets, see eggs, etc.). For me, I like have a tight lid to ensure no foreign crumbs or random hairs fall into the yogurt I eat daily.

2. Filling Up With Gas

As most Americans know, gas is extremely expensive in Europe. Here in Bayern, the price runs nearly $6.00 a gallon. Fortunately, for Americans stationed here with the United States military, we are provided a ration each month at a subsidized rate comparable to the price most people are paying back in the United States. To access this price, we must avail ourselves of one of two options. Option one is to fuel our cars on a military post. Option two is to fuel at an Esso station, a Deutsche chain of gas stations (think Exxon) sprinkled across Deutschland.

While in theory this works flawlessly, the problems happen when you find yourself on a visit to Eagle’s Nest on a Sunday when much of Deutschland is closed—including some gas stations. Then you have to find a place that allows mobile reception so you can Google the closest open Esso gas station. Or you can pay $100 to fill up your car.

Knowing that I can simply stop at any gas station I see when running low on fuel? Priceless.

3. Internet Speeds I Had In The 1990s

When we left Fort Bragg and Pinehurst, North Carolina, we left internet speeds of 300 m.b.p.s. Our family does not game; however, I wanted internet speeds that would allow us to watch several movies simultaneously without delays as well as allow several members of the family to be working on computers at the same time.

We never experienced any delays in connecting to the internet or using the internet.

Then we moved to Germany.

When I went down to the local telecommunication center to set up internet service, I was told I had one option. That option was 5 m.b.p.s.  It’s not dial up internet, but it’s slow. How slow is it?

My neighbor, who worked from home, told me there used to be a household with four teenage girls in the small village of ten homes where we live. He would know when they got home from school because his internet, for all intents and purposes, would stop working. Why? Because he was at the end of the cable in the village, and for each person in the village that went online, his service suffered. With four teenagers on the internet streaming everything, it was impossible for him to work.

One Saturday during family movie night, I had to pause uploading a photo on my phone because the wheel just kept spinning on Netflix. When I paused the photo upload, the movie resumed planning.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY. While writing this piece, the United States Postal Service branch on our post in Germany closed for the day because the internet was so slow they could not conduct transactions because their webpages were timing out. I kid you not. The speed of the internet closed our branch of the post office! This brings me to the next topic I will not miss about Germany.

4. Going To The Post Office

For non-military folks, you may not know that we have post offices located at our overseas military posts. It’s convenient but weird. Convenient because we can send and receive mail similar to other Americans, simply slapping on a first class stamp to send a birthday card to a family member or friend. However, we are required to fill out a customs form for each package we send because, technically, the package will pass through German territory to a postal hub back in the continental United States.

Now let me say, I have found the folks who work at our local postal branch to be friendly, cheerful, knowledgeable, and helpful. This isn’t a knock against them.

But.

But, I cannot wait to get back to America where I have a postal branch with hours that are convenient for me. First, like many institutions on our tiny military post (grocery store, exchange store), the post office hours change all the time. It’s one of the most asked questions.

Does anyone know what the latest hours are for the post office?

And even when you know the hours, something like—I don’t know—the internet running so slow they decide to shut it down for the day happens, and your trip to the post office with that important letter or package is delayed.

We have one postal branch. It’s open four or five days a week with a few Saturday mornings sprinkled in around Christmas. It opens late in the morning, closes for lunch, and is done by 4 p.m. Waiting 45 minutes to get to the counter is expected.

I miss knowing what to expect for hours from a post office and knowing I can simply go to another branch a few miles away if need be.

The list of minor inconveniences goes on and on—small oven, small stovetop, small refrigerator, small trashcan. However I am excited to report back to you next month on some of the many things I will miss about living in Europe.

In the meantime, what are some things you are not going to miss about where you currently live?

If you liked this post, check out 25 Things to Love About America (That Might Not Make Sense Unless You’ve Lived Overseas), 26 Things You Might Miss When Leaving an OCONUS Duty Station, and Milspouse Rebel: Mail Room Edition.