10 Ways to Annoy a Military Spouse

So, I bought this magnet through the CafePress website quite some time ago:

1. As soon as you find out her husband is deployed, take it upon yourself to tell her exactly how you feel about the war and how we shouldn’t be over there.

2. Follow that up by asking how she feels about former presidents.

3. Look surprised and say, “I don’t know how you do it; I could never let my husband do that.”

4. If she’s pregnant, be sure and ask if the military is going to send her husband home for the birth.

5. Tell her she should really consider getting additional life insurance since her husband has a good chance of getting killed.

6. Remind her how lucky she is that her husband gets all that extra tax free money when he’s deployed.

7. Try to relate to her by saying you know just how she feels because your husband was out of town on business for a week last month.

8. Ask her how she can be so faithful for 15 whole months and if she worries about her husband cheating on her.

9. Inquire whether or not her husband has killed anyone.

10. Be sure to ask her when her husband comes home, if he’s done with the military, or if he has to go back.

 

I got asked #10 a lot when my husband was deployed, as well as numbers 3, 6, 1, and 2.

Yup, I pretty much got all these statements/questions when he was deployed.

Isn’t it amazing that non-military people have no clue as to what we go through or that they can be so uncaring of what we are feeling? I know we briefly talked about this on a recent AWTR show, but I think that being a military spouse is vastly different than being the spouse of a police officer or firefighter. While their jobs aren’t the safest ones in the country,  they aren’t being deployed (unless they’re also in the military) to fight an “unknown” enemy. That’s just how I think of it.

I give my 110% Hooah out there to all military spouses. We all go through this at some point.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Retired Blogger

Retired Blogger

Army Wife Network is blessed with many military spouses who share their journey through writing in our Experience blog category. As we PCS in our military journey, bloggers too sometimes move on. Their content and contributions are still valued and resourceful. Those posts are reassigned under "Retired Bloggers" in order to allow them to remain available as content for our AWN fans.

20 thoughts on “10 Ways to Annoy a Military Spouse

  • July 7, 2009 at 6:40 pm
    Permalink

    I love it!! And my husband is a MP…so add that on top of being in the Army and people think I'm crazy for marrying him! So what am I suppose to do? Not marry the love of my life, the one that God intended me to marry just because he has a respectable but possibly dangerous job? I think not. Ugh. This is my first deployment with my hubby…but I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets these annoying questions/comments.

    Reply
  • July 7, 2009 at 7:08 pm
    Permalink

    Hi Rebecca!

    That's so funny! I have a couple more to add:

    -“At least it's not Iraq!”
    -“Why are you so worried? Is it the distance?”

    These were both Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moments.

    -Sheryll

    Reply
  • July 8, 2009 at 1:41 am
    Permalink

    My husband is leaving for Afghanistan in April and I've heard
    number 1, 3, 5, 6, 7 (that's my favorite!), 8 (another favorite!).

    Yeah they are all filed in my questions I'm not answering you will get slapped!

    Gret blog!

    Vanessa
    http://www.militarywifemayhem.com

    Reply
  • July 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm
    Permalink

    God, I remember getting a LOT of that when he was in. And now they look surprised when we tell them he's not in anymore, as if he was kicked out! HA! Some people! Sometimes the military life isn't for everyone and we did it til the boys were a few months old …. and then genetic stuff got serious. Yeah, we WISH we were still in but we're also glad we are where we're at and he did what he did : )

    Reply
  • July 13, 2009 at 5:15 am
    Permalink

    I get these questions a lot. My live-in boyfriend just left for Iraq and people always give their “sympathies.” I also get people asking how I can stay faithful and then saying that I should just live my life and he won't know if anything happens with other men while he is gone. It grosses me out.

    When they find out that he volunteered for this tour (his 4th), they always look surprised and say, “Why???!!!” I simply respond, “It's his job.” Then they always say, “Well, I wouldn't be ok with that. I woudln't let him.” I just smile because people who aren't in this situation just don't understand. They will never understand that I love him and will stick by him no matter what.

    Reply
  • July 13, 2009 at 5:55 pm
    Permalink

    Geez, I have another one to add, sadly!

    “Does he get to come home on weekends?”

    Head scratcher, I know!

    Reply
  • July 13, 2009 at 11:13 pm
    Permalink

    I am always amazed at some people's ignorance. How can we LET them? I'm a soldier too – and if it had been up to me, DH would not have deployed when he did. It's not that we have any say over it. I have an insane amount of respect for the soldiers that volunteer to go on a tour.

    Reply
  • April 11, 2010 at 4:41 am
    Permalink

    Oh man. This is so funny. I had a baby while my husband was gone and got asked #4 all the time. Totally hilarious!

    Reply
  • July 30, 2012 at 5:07 pm
    Permalink

    never had to hear any of these yet and hope I never do:)

    Reply
  • November 9, 2012 at 10:28 pm
    Permalink

    Got asked this one a lot, “Aren’t we almost out of there? Why is he even bothering to go?” *rolls eyes*

    Reply
  • November 10, 2012 at 12:45 am
    Permalink

    My neighbor told me, “At least my family doesn’t kill people.”
    I’m up on murder charges now. Who knew she was a psychic? Lol! (But she really did say this to me).

    Reply
  • November 10, 2012 at 12:55 am
    Permalink

    Very funny but the part about cops and firefighters not having to deploy sounds like we think we’re better. They put their game face on everyday not just during deployments.

    Reply
  • November 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm
    Permalink

    #4 was so common when I was asked if he came home when the baby is born. Sorry I disappointed lots of these question with a big fat “NO”.

    Reply
  • November 10, 2012 at 5:56 pm
    Permalink

    Cops are against an un-known enemy every beat. And alot never come home after their shift! It is a war here in America every day too..with crazies and drug cartels , ect. without cops putting their lives on the line each and every day, Our country would not stand.

    Reply
  • July 26, 2013 at 5:13 pm
    Permalink

    These are pretty funny. He’s been gone almost 6 months this time (been gone more than with me throughout all out relationship), and I’m sad to say that I do believe I have had every one of these more than once (aside from the neighbor one and the one about the baby as we have not yet had kids). However, even though my other half is in the military, I grew up with a father in law enforcement here in America and I must say that I don’t believe it is any easier. Police have to go on multiple weekend-month long trips throughout the year, as well as go out and never have any idea who they may be dealing with on the streets or in the buildings. With the military, it’s longer amounts of time at once, but they do know that most anyone they encounter is an enemy – police have to figure it out and watch their lives every single time they encounter someone because they don’t know… And the military has people behind them, while police are often caught with an enemy and alone on the road. It’s not easier either way – they are both amazing heroes, and their significant others are both never than the a enrage civilian… I thank everyone in any of these lines. <3

    Reply
  • April 13, 2014 at 7:59 pm
    Permalink

    My hubby just got back and I’ve been asked number 10 about a million times.

    Reply
  • August 31, 2014 at 8:04 pm
    Permalink

    Love this I went thur this for 28 years, my man is now retired!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.