Breaking My Heart
I received an email from my first grader’s music teacher requesting that all the children who have family members overseas this Christmas bring a photo to the Holiday Music program and hold up the picture while they sing Bring Him Home, Santa.
My heart stopped. I can certainly see how this teacher may think this will be a touching tribute to deployed service members, but all I see are military children who will suddenly think that Santa can bring their deployed parent home and the heartbreak that will follow when Santa doesn’t deliver.
Elementary kids still believe in the magic of Christmas, and my heart aches at the thought of my son singing or listening to this song, believing that if he gives up toys, Santa will bring his Daddy home. He already has a plan to make the bad guys listen so that all the dads and moms can come home. He has been asking me to drive him to the White House so he can tell President Obama.
I know that at a civilian elementary school military kids are a minority, but I just don’t think it is too much to ask for a little sensitivity, particularly during the holidays. I just can’t imagine him singing Bring Him Home, Santa in a room full of other kids’ parents. It breaks my heart, and I think it would break his.
The lyrics are below.
Bring Him Home, Santa
“Dear Santa, I need to change my Christmas list
There’s one big thing I missed
You see my Daddy’s working for away from here
And I know Santa, I asked for a Barbie doll
And a brand new soccer ball
But I’d trade it all, for just one gift this year…
Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me
Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree
You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh
Don’t make him spend Christmas all alone
Bring him home
And Santa, here’s a picture that I drew
Of him in his dress blues
Mama says our country needs him over there
And you know Santa, this whole year I’ve been good
And I was hopin’ that would
Do all you could to answer her prayer…
Bring him home Santa, bring him home to mom and me
Let us wake up Christmas morning, and find him standing by our tree
You can pick him up on your way, he could ride there in your sleigh
Don’t make him spend Christmas all alone
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home”
Ugh – I can see the teacher meant well – but after reading the lyrics, I think that is HEART BREAKING. I'm an Army Wife, with no children…yet, but even I wouldn't want to sing that song. I don't think people realize how many times they stick their finger in open wounds while trying to be supportive.
as a school teacher, i have taught both on- and off-post. being an army brat and now army wife, i am extra sensitive to things like this. however, your son's teacher may not have taught of it this way. maybe send her a note letting her know your take on it? i appreciate all the musicians out there re-making chrismtas songs to reflect our soldiers and their families' situation this holiday season, but i personally find no comfort in those songs (nor “i'll be home for christmas”). many times civilians mean no harm, only want to support, but never see how it may go astray. hang in there and remember, christmas is about being with the ones you love, whether it's in december or april.
That is sucha sad song, and it's so real in that it is what the children hope for, and the spouses too. My heart aches as I read it.
Secretia
Dear Sarah,
I as a rule like to think the best of people but this is unacceptable. Maybe it is just that she does not see the problem, but I'm sorry to say this smacks of a political agenda. I am saying this as a former elementary teacher. Your post brought tears, for your child,the other children and for you. Honestly it makes me angry.
As a teacher I cannot imagine using this song at all. Not only will kids think this can happen and break little hearts, but no one I know prays to Santa for anything. Maybe it's a cheap trick to get a tear from the audience…but still, I can't fathom that there is not an anti war agenda here. Children remember songs they sing (one reason we put our books in rhyme) and obviously this teacher had no problem teaching this song to the kids.Civilian or not, maybe she just does not know much about kids? Maybe she just needs to hear that you, and maybe others will be keeping the kids home…to write letters and send pictures to Dad instead?
Try to talk her out of having that song in the performance!Things like that have a longer effect than just during the show!My daughter was in middle school & Dad was deployed.She finished all of her work & decided to write to her him. The substitute took the letter away and told my daughter that she can't waiste HER valuable class time by writing notes! Needless to say my daughter broke down in tears and ran out of the class! I was livid! I went to the school & had a talk with the sub, the councelor & principal.
I really hope you discuss this song with the teacher. I'm pretty sure that you aren't the only mother of a military child and if it was me and I talked to her and we couldn't come to a compromise than I would just keep my son home. Theres no point in putting him through that hurt that he is already experiencing more than he needs to be.
Lucky for us my husband is home this Christmas, but last year was a different story. Yet as I read the lyrics the tears come down my face as if he was still downrange. I agree, the teacher means well.. but I would talk to her about it. You don't want the kids to think that Santa can bring their mommy or daddy home. Only to be sad on Christmas day.
-Candy
The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 12/09/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.
They pulled the song from the program!
Thank you all for your kind words and support!
I actually posted the Bring Him Home Santa vid on FB (and my own site) this morning. It always makes me cry.:(
Am going to share your column on FB too.
Thank YOU for your service, and a BIG AuntyBrat hug to your son.
Ouch. You have a VERY valid point. My son is 9, in the 3rd grade, and is convinced Santa is real and can bring him anything he wants- ANYTHING.
I would have a talk with the other military mom's to get their feelings about it, and then speak to the teacher. It's a lovely, heart-felt song, and I'm sure her heart is in the right place… but I don't think she thought it all the way through (the song selection itself or the pictures). It will just bring tears, sadness, and heartache.
Oh yay!
I obviously wrote my comment before seeing that the song had been pulled from the program.
Kudos to the teacher for coming to her senses and realizing the full impact this could have.
Wow! I'm glad they pulled the song, and I'm sure the teacher meant well by trying to support our heroes, but that song… So sad. I can't imagine my babies having to sing those words and being in the audience listening to it. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. My husband will be home this Christmas, but last year and next, well, that's another story. We are our children's biggest cheerleaders, support system and attack dogs. As long as we are there to fight for them and let them know we care, no song in the world can get it the way. Way to stay up for your little ones and have the program changed!! GOOD JOB!!