December: A Time of Waiting and Tradition
Whew. Welcome, December. I’m not firmly in either the “It’s December already?” camp, nor the “Is it New Year’s yet?” one, but I know many people do have a propensity toward one direction.
Why? (Not a rhetorical question. I also ask this in a general sense. Not just this year.)
I have a theory. Are you ready?
It’s because, by the time November closes its doors and December’s swing open, we are exhausted.
We’ve spent the past 11 months rushing around, preparing for a PCS, dealing with deployment (in some cases, both. Those of you who have experienced this, comment below with all of your tips and tricks!), field exercises, and a slew of other circumstances that may have added stress. All of this happened while we were doing usual family stuff, like cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and for some of you, working in or out of the home.
And further still, December does not bring automatic relief from the challenges of our daily life. A deployment may be ongoing. Family members may not understand your choice of holiday plans. Or, you know. A slew of other you-specific possibilities.
December, in my mind, is a time of waiting.
Waiting for holidays to come and go. Waiting for sales to pop up, especially if you hoped for a Black Friday sale and were disappointed. Waiting to give and receive presents. Waiting to watch the ball drop in Times Square.
All of these things are true, and most of them, unavoidable. But, what I want to suggest to you is that it does not need, or should it be, the overarching outlook on the whole month.
December is jam-packed in my family, and it has been since long before I became a military spouse. Growing up, I looked forward to days spent in the kitchen baking cookies with my mom, or on the couch, watching Christmas movies with my siblings.
Standard festivities for the first two weeks or so. But then, December 18th rolls around, and things get a personal, family-centered view.
My husband affectionately refers to December 18th as McCurdy Day (McCurdy is my mom’s maiden name), because it’s become a traditional wedding day for us.
My grandparents, Richard and Jean McCurdy, started the tradition on that day in 1948.
My cousin Annie and her husband, Dan, followed in 2004.
My mom and step-dad, Nancy and Jim, continued it in 2009.
Tom and I hoped to follow suit, but he couldn’t start block leave in time. Ours is the 21st.
I was even supposed to be induced on the 18th, but my little guy couldn’t wait that long!
I share this with you, readers, to show that even during a month that is known for hustle and bustle, it is important to slow down, to create or continue joyful holiday traditions, and enjoy time with your family.
Some ways I like to do this:
1. Take goofy family pictures. I don’t mean you should go out and hire a photographer (unless that’s something that you, your spouse, and your kids would thoroughly enjoy, and it’s in your budget). I mean, take out your smartphone during those goofy moments, and capture a candid of giggles, piggyback rides, coloring, puzzling, snowman making.
2. Put the tech away. If you’re like me and you spend a ton of time on your computer or phone, you may elect to take one picture or even none, and put the phone down. Have some of distraction-free time, wherein you read together, play a game, or get crafty (again, only if you enjoy these things. If you don’t, find something else to do that fosters quality time).
3. Learn everyone’s Love Language. Speaking of quality time, do you know your love language? Your spouse’s love language? Your child(ren)’s? My husband and and I first took the quiz when we were newly dating. We learned that, while our secondary Love Languages differ, we both need quality time. The child’s quiz? For my almost 3-year-old, if I had to guess, quality time would be it also. I suggest this activity because December is filled with events and family time. It is easy to grow weary from all of the time together, and yet one could leave these moments not experiencing the love intended. If you know your love languages, you can better express your needs to others, and they, to you.
There are quizzes for each age group, found at the link above. I also highly recommend reading the book, specifically the military edition.
4. Make simple memories. Doing “stuff” stresses you out? Then, don’t! Cuddling on the couch reading books, and watching movies can be just as memorable. How, you ask? We do these things all year long! The quiet options will be memorable because they (hopefully) will ease stress and be relaxing.
Tip: Want to have a movie night, but have a bunch of kids with different interests? Or maybe it’s just you and your spouse and one wants to watch Die Hard, while the other would rather It’s a Wonderful Life?
Not to worry! Just plan for a full-day marathon instead of a two-movie binge! Just make sure you have tons of popcorn.
5. Practice self care. Whether or not the ideas above speak to you, please do this one, in whatever way you need. You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t give what you don’t have,” or “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” I’m here to tell you that it’s true. Take. Care. Of. Yourself. Drained and exhausted? Put the kids to bed early or have them take some quiet time so you can have a snack, read a chapter, watch an episode of your favorite show, or, if you’re one who actually enjoys cleaning, put the sponge to the countertop.
Whatever your circumstances are this month, eliminate the things you can so that you can focus instead on the people you love, and the activities that bring you joy.
