Finding Your Heart of Thankfulness in the Year of 2020

For a long time, during our bedtime routine with the kids, we’d ask each one to share something they were thankful for that day. It was always intriguing to hear what was on their hearts.

Sometimes, it was quite serious for them: “I’m thankful I didn’t cry when I got my poke [immunization] today.”

Sometimes, it was a bit comical: “I’m thankful my hair is growing like Rapunzel.”

Sometimes, it was reflectively wise beyond their years: “I’m thankful we had food to eat today because the children in Venezuela don’t have much.”

Recently, I realized we hadn’t verbalized our gratitude for a while. With a new addition to our family this year, followed by the pandemic, our routines went all topsy-turvy. As we approach Thanksgiving, though, I have been reflecting on where my heart stands.

Periodically, during this challenging year, I have found myself less grateful. So many things have changed, some have been a little daunting, some stress-inducing, some simply inconvenient and irritating. I have grumbled under my breath a little more. I have complained over small things at home. But during a month we deliberately consider an attitude of gratitude, I’ve also intentionally considered the things for which I am thankful.

How about you?

After such a problematic year, has it been difficult for you to get into the thankful, grateful mood?

Here’s the question I’ve been pondering: how might the things I complain about relate to how other individuals may view those things?

Many of us tend to grumble about tripping over our husbands’ Army boots; I’m annoyed when mine leaves half-drunk cups of water all over the house, when the kids are too noisy, when there is too much laundry to do. But it means our loved ones are here! They aren’t deployed, they haven’t passed away, they haven’t grown up and moved out yet. Maybe some of you wouldn’t mind a bit if you had a little extra laundry to do.

I often get frustrated when my husband’s travel time to and from work is so long, as it takes time away from our family. But we could not be more grateful that during this year’s pandemic, my husband didn’t lose his job, his hours were not shortened, and our finances were not affected when a majority of our non-military friends’ were.

I will gratefully accept his extra time on the road over no time on the road because of a job loss.

I am trying to be grateful for the exhaustion I feel throughout the day. It means I’m capable of hard work; that I have things or people to work for. It means my body is healthy enough to accomplish my tasks.

I am reminding myself to appreciate the fact that I have to cook dinner every night. I do not particularly enjoy cooking, my kids are sometimes picky, and my husband is never home to enjoy our meal together, but this process signifies that we have money to buy our groceries, and we have access to ample food. I know of countries who can only provide their kids with a teaspoon of sugar to get them through their nightly hunger pangs.

Believe it or not, I am even choosing to be thankful for the blue and purple lines meandering up and down my legs. These crazy varicose veins caused by pregnancy represent my ability to have children. I understand there are some culture groups who would mourn the fact that one’s body is not marked with them; that it means one could possibly not have children. Maybe even some of you are praying for a pregnancy that might cause those varicose veins or your first stretch mark.

At times, my husband and I have shared one vehicle, when one vehicle bit the dust or when we lived overseas. I found that coordinating schedules was quite the challenge, and it limited my freedom for my own schedule. Recently, I grumbled that the AC had to go out in the car at the same time the van’s tires were leaking air. But how fortunate are we that we even have a vehicle—or now two?!—in the first place? I know there are many who cannot afford even one.

It is so frustrating when the storm shuts down the power for a few hours, and even worse, when the internet crashes for an hour. I have become extremely dependent on these things that I barely know how to function when I lose them. About 940 million people in the world do not have electricity (ourworldindata.org), and close to half the world does not have the internet (statista.com). I need to be grateful when I don’t have it for a tiny percentage of my day.

So, you see? Even though we can sometimes view 2020 as the most awful year yet, with a little reflection, we can shift those negative thoughts into an attitude of gratitude. Particularly as a military family whose jobs may not have changed this year: what can you pull out of your adventurous military life that can go down in history as the best thing ever in the year of 2020?

Thank You, Veterans and Military Families

As military families, we are not ignorant to how much our veterans have sacrificed for us. They have surrendered their time and physical safety to allow us the freedoms and privileges we have today. I am incredibly grateful to all my family members, friends, and of course, my husband, who have served or are currently serving in our Armed Forces. We proudly recognize them every Veterans Day with a heart full of thankfulness.

On Oct. 30, 2020, President Trump proclaimed November to be National Veterans and Military Families Month. Recognizing the difficult roles those in uniform play and how their work is positively impacted by the support of their families, President Trump selected this month to celebrate them all.

Our loved ones in the service work like no other. They have been burdened by the current events during their time in service, and their families have continually supported them by uprooting their lives when it is time to move and spending countless hours away from their service members due to the demands of their job, TDYs, or deployments. These families also support military efforts by volunteering with organizations and keeping things stable on the home front.

I am thankful for the military families who have gone on before me, paving the way to provide resources for other military families, educational and career opportunities, necessary military-related organizations, readiness groups, and more. I am so thankful that as an Army spouse, I have these things to access. I am also extremely grateful for military families who have become my family, those who have become my role models, encouragers, mentors, and inspirations for me to look up to.

So, during National Veterans and Military Families Month, thank you for your part in this as well; for all the roles you play as a veteran and/or military family!

A Heart Full of Thanks

Thanksgiving originated in 1621 to celebrate a bountiful harvest with newly formed friendships. What a simple concept! However, it did require that individuals set aside ill thoughts and pride and be willing to learn from each other. For Thanksgiving 2020, I encourage you to work a little harder, digging deep to find a similar perspective in a year that maybe you thought it wasn’t possible. I assure you, it is possible! Start with the little things, and I bet you’ll find more as you go along!

To better assist our family, we’re getting back into the “Today, I’m thankful for…” routine with the kids. Tonight’s best answer: “I’m thankful for staying safe during the tropical storm.” Indeed, it’s the little things. But they truly become the big things!

Would you like to read more on this topic? Try Attitude of Gratitude,365 or November Is…