Halloween Costume Ideas: Milspouse Edition
Need some help getting in the Halloween spirit this spooky season?
Want to make a costume out of things already embarrassingly accessible in your house?
Want be the spookiest mama on the block?
Look no further y’all. I got you. Here are eight ideas, perfect for the military spouse:
1. An Ink-Stained Uniform
Seriously. Can you think of anything scarier? Chances are you already have three of these stuffed into the closet that you swear you “can still save.”
You can’t, boo. Salvage your pride and the remaining use of this hunk of camo, and turn it into a costume.
2. A PCS Inventory Item
This one is easy. Just go around the house and find all those inventory PCS stickers from your cross-country move that you gave up peeling off the furniture, and start sticking them to your face. All over. Grab some bubble wrap from your Amazon box horde in the gear closet, and half-hazardly drape it on your body with duct tape.
Bonus points if you wrap some kind of bandage around a limb because you, of course, arrived broken.
3. PCS Orders
You can also recreate the beginning of your PCS journey by safety pinning a bunch of papers to a shirt. What do the papers say?
Doesn’t matter.
Much like the first 10 PCS orders he received before you found yourself rolling through the desert to a place where he needs a three-day pass to get to the closest Target.
4. EFMP/CYS/DEERS/Transportation/Housing Offices
The list goes on.
Roll down your neighborhood street in a wheelie chair with a sign around your neck that says, “Out of office for the day.” Hand out cards to unsuspecting passers-by with a number to reschedule appointments.
Make sure that number is dead.
Or, ditch the sign and just let anyone that talks to you know that they have the wrong POA and keep on rolling down the street.
It’s really up to you as long as the goal of doing nothing is still achieved.
I kid, I kid. Well, sorta.
5.“Month 11 of a Nine-Month Deployment” Look
Simple.
Bathrobe. Something that used to be edible stuck in your hair. TV remote. Countdown calendar that has somehow caught on fire. Amazon box under your arm, as shopping has become part of your daily self-care regimen.
And coffee. Just a whole vat of coffee.
6. SFRG Ice Breaker
Cute little dress. Name tag proudly on your chest. Awkwardly holding a tiny paper plate with a muffin and some Cheeto puffs. While simultaneously juggling a styrofoam cup of lemonade.
Talk to no one.
7. Nightmare Before Homecoming
Shaving gel, razor, hair in a towel, face mask cemented on to your face, Lizzo playing on Spotify in the background, while running around with Clorox and air fresheners.
8. Murphy’s Law
Pick a prop. Now break it.
Ta da.
However you celebrate Halloween, I hope you stay safe, stay healthy, and stay Army wife sassy.
Happy Halloween!
