Homecoming

By the time you read this, my soldier will be home from a deployment.  

It snuck up on us this time around. A few months ago they said he might go home early if they could find a replacement for him. There was a lot of “maybe this” and “maybe that.” 

It dragged on for months. I’m used to that kind of Army talk.

Then all of a sudden he says, “Hey, I’m coming home in two weeks.”

Him

I called her at 3 a.m. to tell her I was coming home early. Her sleepy-in-the-middle-of-the-night voice was just a little frantic when she answered. I forgot that middle-of-the-night calls don’t usually symbolize something good happening.

Now it’s more real. Going home, that is. I thought I had a full year of deployment to make those changes I’ve been wanting to make. Now it’s cut short. Like coming home leaner and stronger and with a two- to five-year plan for my family. 

I am nearing retirement. 

But I was tired all the time. Work hours were long. Plus, how much weight can I really lose in the next 14 days?

And she’s going to hate this mustache.

And, that Tuff Box I shipped home makes six in the garage. She’s going to hate that even more.  

Her

It was 3:00 in the morning. Yes, it scared me half to death. Plus I was trying to whisper because it had been a rough night for our little man and he was sleeping next to me. 

After the phone call, it hit me that all those things I’d wanted to do before he got home were not going to happen.

I was supposed to lose 20 pounds. I’ve gained three!

So much for dejunking all those boxes in the garage to make space for the suitcases I’m currently storing in his closet.  

Maybe I’ll be better at meal planning now… Oh, who am I kidding? Cold cereal has been my standby dinner for way too long. I hope he likes Honey Nut Cheerios.

Ugh…shaving.

If it feels like I’m complaining, I’m not. I want him to come home. But, there is a physical and emotional stress that comes along with unexpected news, no matter how much excitement is mixed in with it.

Him

I hate the hurry up and wait. Hurry up and pack (six days to go). Hurry up and move out of your room and into your temporary barracks (five days to go). Go clear medical, finance, security, and the mailroom (four days to go). Forward my mail (three days to go). Say goodbyes and hand-off all my work (two days to go). Hand in my badge (one day to go). Get to gateway and the bus to the airport (twelve hours to go).

I’m finally sitting on the plane (40 hours to homecoming).

I know that part of homecoming is pomp and circumstance. The marching. Flags waving. Speech-making. And then the best part when I’m back with my family.

But, part of me wishes I could just sneak into the house in the middle of the night and surprise them all at breakfast. Bypass all the happy tentative parts of homecoming. Even though nobody is really watching…it can still feel like we’re all on display.  

Her

I am so excited to catch a glimpse of him in uniform marching proudly into the greeting area. I can hardly keep the tears squeezed behind my eyes when I think about it. I can’t wait to see his smile as my children run and throw their arms around his neck.

And then it’s my turn.

And I’ll wrap my arms around him and breathe in deeply those familiar smells mixed with the unfamiliar, and we’ll have our first homecoming kiss…which, despite the threat, if he didn’t shave that awful deployment mustache, I will gladly smooch away.

Because it’s at that moment that everything feels right.

Him

Everything feels right. 

Jet lag is over. I’ve fallen into the natural rhythm of family life and family schedules.

I’m still on a post-deployment high. Reintegrating at work and home has challenges, but it’s all easier than being deployed.

Now, I have to concentrate on what the Army calls “resiliency.”  

This includes things like learning to slow my pace, learning to relax, and changing what I say and how I say it.

A week ago, when it was time to eat, I was at the DFAC. Now, the smorgasbord of food options is a little overwhelming. I’m learning to combat the avalanche of conveniences that being home offers without sensory overload, indulgence, and bad decisions.

Her

It’s only been a few days.  The honeymoon period will end soon and real-life will set in. 

We’ve done this enough that I already know the little irritations of being married don’t all go away just because he deployed. He’s already got olive green knee-high boot socks all over the bedroom. But, he did shave that mustache.

Right now, I’m just going to stay in the moment and love that he’s here. 

Home. 

I can mention the socks another day.