Making Your Home a School and School a Home

Last month we explored reasons why one would choose homeschool or “regular” school. I stated that “Both experiences [home and school] could bring together learning and living as defined by your family’s passions and vision.” It is important, for me, that we all know that, regardless of A or B, we do not lose and should not give over control of our children’s education.

We are our children’s first and—I’ll add—last teacher.

This is something that I always take to heart, even more in the years when I heard my son first say, “My teacher knows more than you,” or “My teacher knows. You don’t.” Admittedly, the idea to homeschool first came to me in a fit of, “I’ll show them!” I really wanted my son to respect that his mother knew a lot and cared a lot about what he knew, too.

On the flip side, there is a pack of public school teaching grandparents in my son’s corner. The idea of me homeschooling was downright outlandish to them when I first proposed it.

Many challenges to some people’s minds when they think about homeschooling, bringing up feelings of inadequacies or “I can’t do that.” Thinking of public schooling brings up feelings of frustration or “my kid is just a number.” Those are just two examples. Remember, I know that there are people who have found their place. The below tips are for you if you’re having difficulties.

How to make your school a home:

• Visit. Volunteer if you can. Showing up at your child’s school (within the parameters of “a safe school” policy) puts your student, school teachers, and faculty on notice, not only that you are “there,” but also that you care. It gives you an idea of the culture, which you can supplement or counteract at home. It is difficult sometimes to volunteer, but don’t discount the idea. If all you can do is two hours a month, give those two hours. That’s more than 15 hours a year, and it establishes a routine and assists in developing rapport with the school and your child.
• Communicate. If you can’t visit or volunteer, you can create that rapport in other ways: phone calls, email, or written notes. Don’t wait for teachers to write first, and don’t wait for “something bad” to happen before you make your first move. Write teachers to introduce yourself (more than just that first meet-and-greet), encourage them, and share the funny story of how Johnny raves about how much more she knows than you. Don’t forget to put a note in your child’s backpack or lunchbox now and again either.
• Help educate the educators. Your home is the home of a military family. With that comes certain challenges and rewards. I don’t need to remind you, but your child’s teacher may need an introduction. You can start here with Kansas State’s documentary A Walk in My Shoes: Military Life. If all your school knows is that you are a military family, they may immediately think you won’t be there long enough to invest or connect. But, what we must show them is how quickly we have learned to do both.

How to make your home a school:

• Know what they should know. There are a lot of curricula out there, both for free or at an expense. You are free to pick and choose. You are free to do what works for you, but you must have a “home base.” I like knowing what is expected, but having the freedom to find those everyday lifelong learning moments to fit the structure of what is typical for my aged child. If I had to pick one book to read before you start, it would be one from the Core Knowledge Series. Currently, we are working our way through What Your Fourth Grader Needs to Know.
• Encourage lifelong learning. You don’t want to feed your children for a day, you want them to feed themselves for a lifetime. I’ve found that the best way to start the ball rolling is to be inquisitive yourself and admit when you don’t know. In the Army, we would say, “I don’t know, but I will find out.” Tell your kids the same, and then find out together.
• Socialize. If you don’t recognize the need for socialization, due to wanting some time off-duty as teacher, your child will send you the signal loud and clear. If not a homeschool group, look into recreational sports and classes, installation children and teen centers, local church groups, or civic groups. This was the foremost argument I heard against pulling my son out of school the first time. Nowadays, schools can’t be relied upon to provide positive peer pressure. They can, but there are other ways, which may also decrease the negative peer pressure some kids feel in school.

That’s it. Those are a few tips to get a discussion started.

Remember those meddling grandparents? Due to that background, our family has seamlessly done whatever fits the situation and our family’s desires at each duty station. They have become great assets in both scenarios. Some of these tips came from them, I’m happy to say. Now, please share yours.

For more information regarding teaching resources please visit militarychild.org and aacte.org (search “Operation Educate the Educators”).