A Letter to My Soldier

I wanted to share my last letter to my hero with you all.

20 June 2011

Eric—

Hi. Well, it’s almost here, the end of this long deployment. Of all the times I thought, “how will I feel when he comes home?” or “wonder what I’m gonna want to say in that last letter,” I never really knew what I know now, in this moment.

Right now, I am simply proud.

Proud of all you have accomplished while doing what you do; all the stuff you think goes unnoticed. It’s amazing to me that you can live so far away, yet still be “dad.” Though you are away, you remain connected to their daily lives. I don’t know of one dad who sat through their child’s (both of ‘em) first teacher conference via the telephone from Iraq.

You did. I noticed, the teachers noticed, and most of all, the girls noticed.

Your ability to maintain the “norms” we have set for our household was a necessity during the few times I felt I needed you as a vocal accomplice. It meant so much that, even from afar, you helped to enforce the discipline. I know that must have been rough; when all you wanted was to spoil these three little ladies. Your patience on Skype with Abbi was perhaps the most endearing of times to me. She would just sit there and look at you and talk to you all day if I would have let her.

I grew annoyed, you remained patient. Do you remember? I would put her off my lap only to have her climb back up and loudly express her anger at me for making her get down. Those little moments will forever live in my heart, and as the years go on and she grows, so will those moments. We’ve seen it with the big girls; just wanting to quickly say hi and then scoot off to continue whatever it is they were doing.

Today, at the coming home ceremony for 4th BDE, 1-76, I was the most proud of you that I have ever been. When a spouse is sought out to be told of the impact her soldier has made on a unit’s deployment, it is the most amazing feeling ever. That happened today. I will keep the details to share with you privately, but I was so very proud. I know there are so many times I fuss at you about this life, but I hope you know I love it. I would never trade one day of it for any in our past.

In a few short days, you will board that plane and we will have our moment. It’s the moment we have waited for since that July morning I said goodbye. I have prepared for it since you walked onto that bus. Now that it is here, I can’t seem to get anything done to prepare. After hearing that announcer guy (whom I now know as Jeff, by the way) for so long, cursing him and hating him, I am ready for it to be our turn. I will scream loud enough to “wake up Fort Stewart.”

“If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my chores are through. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I’m not gonna let you down. Darling, wait and see. And between now and then, until I see you again… I’ll be loving you. Love, me.”

—Nikki