“Loved and Were Loved”

Happy Memorial Day? No; that isn’t right. In the words of a good former boss of mine, MAJ U, “Words mean things.”

Happy = delighted, pleased, or glad
Memorial = something to remember the dead
Day = division of time equal to 24 hours

From the get-go, you can see why this greeting pricks the consciousness of many. “Happy” stands out as shallow, but as we all know, some people just don’t know what to say.

Not everyone is as poetic as, say, John McCrae with his WWI poetry:

In Flanders Fields by John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

As the poem suggests, “If ye break faith with us who die, we shall not sleep.”

So, instead of “Happy Memorial Day,” what can we say?

Here’s one thought: Why not let your actions speak (louder than your words)?

• pause for a moment of silence at 3 p.m.
• decorate a gravesite
• attend a memorial parade or ceremony
• accept and wear a red poppy
• learn about this day and educate others

I taught my daughter about it yesterday and, in the meantime, educated myself. For instance, I didn’t know the reason for a red poppy. The Scarlet Corn Poppy grows throughout Western Europe where the ground has been disturbed. The flowers were one of the only things to grow on the former battlefields.

And whenever I read McCrae’s poem, I thought, “the poppy is for a different country’s Remembrance Day.”

But did you know? There are Americans buried in Flanders Field, and even if there weren’t, there are American allies buried in that field. They “loved and were loved.”

And now they lie.

Please understand that I’m not advocating for giving up our American social gatherings—from baseball games to barbecues—but in the midst, “honor the gift of freedom that these heroes have given us.”

The truth is, those heroes would want us to be happy, and we want them to know we memorialize their selfless sacrifice. This is something we want known everyday. But Memorial Day is “the day” set aside. So, if you must exclaim or greet your friends and passersby, maybe you can try what we are trying here at home.

Call out the greeting: “Remember! It’s Memorial Day.”

Or if you’re greeted with a call of “Happy Memorial Day,” respond with “We will not forget.” Let those who notice ask, “What?” or “Why?” Being ready to answer is the least we can do.