My Sensory Military Child
About 5.5 years ago, I welcomed a child into this world, I’ll refer to him as “A.” He was born during the morning reveille; he must’ve already known not to be late for PT. In fact, he was two weeks early, already an overachiever! Born at 38 weeks, my oldest fought his way into this world. His dad and I knew something was different about him from the time he kicked me so hard in utero that it looked like aliens had possessed my body. Little did we know, he would be our sensory military child that would keep us on our toes for the rest of his life.
Background
Sensory Integration Disorder is when a child’s brain has trouble receiving and sending out information in relation to our senses. As mentioned before, my husband and I knew our oldest was different from birth. He kicked, moved, and shoved every inch of my belly. By 3 weeks old, he was rolling over, by 4 months he was crawling, and by 9 months he was running and kicking a soccer ball.
He was never content and cried…a lot! He was never satisfied unless he was being stimulated.
In true Army fashion, my husband left when A was 2 months old to do training in Slovenia. Already, A was having to endure time away from his Dad. It was exhausting being alone with that tiny, loud human. I think the only time I ate was when I would go to the PX food court and let a fellow military spouse hold him. I usually took advantage of that moment to scarf down a Subway sandwich and use the bathroom alone. Finally, when A turned 2 years old, my mother-in-law (whom I appreciate and owe for saving what little sanity I had left), a licensed occupational therapist, suggested I get him evaluated by an OT.
Results
The evaluation went as I expected, and the results weren’t surprising. What my husband and I had on our hands was a sensory-seeking toddler. What is that like? Give the Energizer bunny about 15 cups of coffee and a 5-hour energy shot and that might come close to the amount of energy my 2-year-old had. Not only did he have energy, but he didn’t sleep through the night, had poor awareness of his surroundings, absolutely no fear, and hated sudden change. That latter part is where I’m going with this story…
It wasn’t just a case of the Terrible Twos, it was like The Hulk had taken over my 2-year-old’s body and mind. We needed help! Thankfully, TRICARE covered all of A’s OT sessions. During one of the first appointments, the OT stressed that predictability and consistency was essential for Sensory Integration Disorder children. She clearly wasn’t familiar with the military lifestyle. Are those words even in a military family’s vocabulary?
The Point
Military children aren’t guaranteed consistency or predictability. They aren’t guaranteed to have family holidays, much less family dinner every night. They aren’t guaranteed to have both parents at their school performances, at their birthday parties, or during milestones. It. Isn’t. Guaranteed.
How could I give my sensory seeker consistency and predictability so he didn’t feel like his world was out of control while living the military lifestyle?
*Cue the magical you’ve-got-orders jingle*
Do you know the (sarcastic) phrase “impeccable timing?” The military has impeccable timing, because just as soon as we got established with an OT in Georgia, the magical orders fairy dropped our orders sending us to Alaska. And again, just as we became established with our OT in Alaska, my husband deployed. See what I mean here? No consistency!
Mary Poppin’s Bag of Tricks
As a military family, you find ways to thrive and not just survive. Our family refers to these tips and tricks as “Mary Poppins’s Bag of Tricks.” We’ve had to do this since A was born and continue to do it to this day, because we’ve had to be creative in how to thrive with our sensory seeker. So, more recently, we had to figure out how to thrive and survive during my husband’s fourth deployment (our first with children). We had to put our thinking caps on and figure out how to help A through this time of separation. After all, he needed consistency.
Tips and Tricks
We used many tools, like preparing him beforehand. We talked through the scenario hundreds of times. We also used an awesome toy from Toymail Talkie, which allowed my husband to send voicemails to the stuffed animal. How cool is that?
Another way we stayed connected as a family was continuing our family reading time. My husband would send the boys a new book each month that only he could read to them. I’m still forever grateful for whoever established decent internet on the FOB my husband was at. It made such a difference during that deployment. I should’ve sent them a year’s worth of chocolate and wine… Too bad I consumed it before thinking of this.
Resilience
These military kids, they’re special and resilient. Despite all the transition and not being able to provide my oldest with the consistency he needed, he continues to thrive. Many thanks to our OTs and play therapy counselors. TRICARE will cover costs for these services, and I highly recommend them! A continues to blow his dad and me away with how he’s adjusted to this gypsy lifestyle despite his neurodiversity. This kid has lived in four different houses at four different duty stations—that’s a real definition of inconsistency! But alas, our first Sunday at a new church, A walked in, introduced himself, and began playing as if we had never moved at all. That’s huge.
And hopefully one day, my children will finally remember which house we’re currently living in. The confusion is real, y’all!
If you have any questions about Sensory Integration Disorder and how to navigate the hurdles with TRICARE, feel free to reach out!
