Peel, Refresh, and Start Again

As I write this I am sitting at a local coffee shop sipping on a White Chocolate Pumpkin Mocha… because it’s fall and it has me in all the feels. I am attempting a refresh and all these cozy fall vibes reminded me of a beautiful quote by Ruth Ahmed as she watched the Autumn leaves fall and change color and said: 

“There is something so special in the early leaves drifting from the trees–as if we are all to be allowed a chance to peel, to refresh, to start again.”

That beautiful quote sings symphonies to my soul as I am reminded it is okay to peel, refresh and start again just like the autumn leaves.

Peeling is the start of a new season, the shedding, the letting go of how things were.

Refreshing is the first step to the “new” finding new ways to be inspired, motivated, and settled.

Starting again is something we as military spouses are all to familiar with. The branching out and making new roots. It is establishing a new way of life.

Peeling

I am a relatively new military wife. My husband and I were married for almost 5 years before he finally answered the call to serve his country and we stepped out together on a huge leap of faith.

I knew my career would be put on hold following my husband with the different state licensure requirements, but I am always keen on an adventure and would follow my husband anywhere, so when he felt the call so strong, I couldn’t help but buckle up and hope for the adventure of a lifetime.

We went through the enlistment process, Basic Training experience and tried to assimilate to all these foreign phrases, titles, and processes that the military entails.

I had to start from scratch. I had to rebuild myself.

We then got assigned our first duty station at Fort Bliss, TX, and moved cross country with all our belongings and dog in tow. On the last stop on our road trip to our new home, I found out I was pregnant with our first child.

The next day we roll up to our new home in a completely foreign desert town in the heat of summer, pregnant with intense morning sickness, a new military family who has no clue what is going on and has left the world we knew behind.

In that season, I felt like I had lost who I was and had no clue how to rebuild myself to fit this new “army wife” and “soon-to-be-mom”.

Fast-forward to this fall, I am sitting here with my smiley 6-month-old baby boy thinking about who I am and who I want to be. Postpartum was extremely rough for me and it was doubled by my son’s time in the NICU (more to come on that in a  later blog).

Since his birth I have felt many times like I am playing catch up with life and finding out how I fit into this new role and phase of life.

All to say, I know a little bit about “peeling”, especially in recent years.

But then, I am reminded by this beautiful season… it is okay.

 Breath…

Peel

Refresh 

Start-again

Refresh

I realized once the dust had settled in my season of “peel” that I do not need to be the same “Lindsey” I thought I was or wanted to be. I am strong and can evolve and can refresh and begin anew.

That it is not my time to feel lost… but a time to rebuild. Rebuild my purpose, my passions, my heart, and my community. It was not going to happen overnight. It was going to take work, vulnerability, and time. But, I knew it is worth it and I knew it would be refreshing to let go of the past seasons and fully embrace the current one.

Being refreshed in each season looks like fully embracing what that season is meant for and being at peace with that.

For example, before having a kid refreshing looked like a full day of “me-time”. This may look like staying at home in my jammies with a face mask, exploring around town at my luxury or traveling with my husband at the drop of a dime.

Now, my refreshing time does not look the same. Now, my refreshing looks like taking a nap during my son’s nap time. Or, taking him for a walk around a park. I have even tried Mommy and Me workout classes and have joined MOPS groups and Bible study groups that make me feel energized and feed my soul.

Once I was able to “peel” the old season’s way of refreshing and look to the new I was able to find new ways of refreshing myself and find peace with that.

Start Again

I had to restart my life and find out who I wanted to be in this new phase and season. I had to look at myself in the mirror and recognize how much I have grown. I had to believe I do have value and I do have something to offer the community around me.

I do have talents and hobbies that are worth exploring and committing time to. Life may not be going down the path I had originally envisioned but that is what makes my story a good one. I am constantly growing and changing and have a lot more to grow and change and I am going to embrace the process.

I can adapt to my surroundings and know in different seasons I will look different. I have started reshaping my identity again as I learn how to be a new mom.

I have stepped out in new service opportunities such as the Retreat Coordinator for our posts’ PWOC.

I have re-tapped my passion for speaking and share my story and the trials I have overcome such as the experience of my son being in the NICU.

I am cooking and baking yummy recipes from Pinterest and baking things that make my house smell like home and bring a smile to my face.

And… I have joined the Army Wife Network Command Team to share my experiences and talents with you all.

This is my season of stepping out and I share these things with you humbly to tell you that you can do it too.

What about you, friend? 

Are you in a season of peel, refresh or starting again?

Is there something you can do to step out in faith to start new in this fall season?

Are there areas of your life you have had to peel and shed previous hopes, dreams, or comfortabilities?

Is there something you can do in this season to refresh your soul and find new ways to fill your cup?

And is there a place in your life where you can take that leap of faith and start over?

I took the leap of faith friend and so can you.

 

Lindsey is a madly in love army wife to her husband Matt, proud mother to her 6-month-old son Malachi, dog momma to her blonde husky-collie mix, and a business owner. Lindsey’s passion is families and marriages. She has her M.S in Family Marriage Therapy and M.S in Mental Health and Wellness for Family and Marriage Dynamics from Grand Canyon University. She is currently the Fort Bliss PWOC Retreat Coordinator. She loves facilitating opportunities for women to meet and get connected. Lindsey is a speaker, blogger, mentor, and motivator.

*To read more about Lindsey, visit our Command Team Bios on AWN’s homepage.

*For more poems and prose from Ruth Ahmed, click here .