Proper Planning Prevents…
Proper planning is a beautiful thing. I learned this many years ago.
It makes life less stressful, brings joy and organization, and equips us to be on our “A” game. Then, I married into the military, where plans typically seem “tentative” at best and some days last a max of 33 seconds before they change again.
Not going to lie…this sometimes drives me bonkers and makes me a little bit twitchy.
We have probably all heard the saying “Proper Planning Prevents Potentially Poor Performance.” (And yes, I changed the fourth “P” word to make it a bit more blog appropriate, but you get my drift.)
Here’s the dilemma—how in the name of all things camo are we supposed to plan anything when it comes to loving our service members as military spouses?
Well, my friend… I am so glad you asked. Here are a few tips and tricks that I have picked up and continue to engage in my everyday adventure that is attempting to plan around military life:
1. Engage in backward proper planning.
I am a huge fan of backward planning, and it works for experiences inside and outside of military marriage. Let’s say that you have a big event coming up, like a PCS, a deployment, or even a personal goal, like running a marathon. We can’t coast along and expect all of the details to work out themselves, can we? (Although that would be awesome. If anyone develops a system for marathon training that doesn’t involve hours of sweat, running, and pain, hit me up. Please!)
So, you are PCSing in about four months, military time. Instead of procrastinating and putting off all the important things until 30 days out or choosing to hole up in your closet with a box of Dove chocolate, overwhelmed by the stress, break things down into small, manageable chunks.
Work back from your report date and approximate when you hope to arrive at your new duty station, when the movers will come get your stuff, when you need to have the house organized/cleaned, when/what paperwork needs to be completed, etc. Then, create benchmarks or due dates on the calendar so you can be moving toward your goal ahead of time. This avoids any “big rocks” sneaking up on you.
2. Communicate.
This is a big one. It seems simple but more plans go awry due to lack of communication, be that with our spouse, between our spouse and his unit, or even ourselves and our kids. After you have created the backward plan, chat about it with your family. Put notes on the calendar or create a reminder on your phone to be planning ahead. The more you chat about life happenings, the less likely you will end up wigging out when the date of your big event shows up.
3. Be on top of what you can, but let the rest go.
Ah, releasing control… I still struggle with this one but learned in a hurry that there are tons of things in this milspouse life that are well beyond my control. So, my hope is to handle what I can and then transport myself into the movie Frozen as Elsa sings, “Let it go, let it go!” Good strategy, plus it gives you a great excuse to belt out a Disney song to lighten the mood.
So, get your calendar, grab your highlighters, and embrace the idea that proper planning prevents (almost) all the craziness that comes with managing this milspouse adventure.
What tips or tricks have you picked up for proper planning of this adventurous milspouse life as we love our service members? I would love to hear all about it. Don’t be shy; join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
