Running is a Gift
Many of us continue to make adjustments to find the new normal within this COVID-19 era. It is easy to be consumed by the daily news. The situation is serious, and this is not the time to withdraw but to be vigilant and take precautions to be safe. The situation does not mean that all exercise activities should stop. Prior to COVID-19 you probably invested time to remain in shape—now is not the time to stop.
You can still exercise while maintaining social distance. While the opportunities will be fewer, you can still achieve the same results. I am three years out from my heart operation and continue to make adjustments.
Mike Sinisi shared the following words with me: “Being out there doing what you love, it does not matter the speed. I look at a runner as someone who goes out because they love to run, no matter the speed, and a jogger is someone that goes out because they ‘have to,’ i.e., they do not have the passion.”
I had an opportunity to interview Keira D’Amato, a U.S. Air Force spouse, mother of two, real estate agent, elite runner, and graduate of American University. At the 2020 U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials she placed 15th with a time of 2:34:24.
What is your philosophy when it comes to running?
My philosophy is that the name of the game is F.U.N. This isn’t rocket science, we aren’t saving lives, we are finding a healthy way to test our limits and work through “fun” mental and physical challenges. During and right after running, it’s normal to feel terrible; but overall, if you are doing it right, it can add this really special inner peace to your life. Running is a gift; I feel truly lucky to have the time/energy/health/support to do it because it brings me a lot of joy.
What was the motivation to seek a U.S. Olympic Marathon Team Trials Qualifier?
It had to slap me across the face for it even to get my attention. After having two kids, I was very out of shape and the first and only marathon I [completed] at that point was in 3:49:49 (2013 Missoula) where I discovered around mile sixteen that I wasn’t a marathon runner and walked the rest of the way. I was so sure I was not a marathoner. But… I did want to lose the baby weight, so I started running, and I found a lot of freedom in the long, slow distance runs. Then my husband deployed, and I had a lot of lonely time on my hands and filled it with the long, slow distance runs. The more I ran the longer the runs got. They also got faster. Then I started having fun with pick-ups and showing up to a local race… and then that racing bug came back.
So, I decided to rewrite my marathon past and see if I could qualify for the Boston Marathon by running under 3:35. My goal was just to run under 3:35 and I ran 3:14 (2017 Shamrock VA Beach). It felt so easy. I couldn’t run slow enough that day to be on 3:35 pace. Then I thought, well, what if I didn’t hold back so much. Could I break 3? No way, I couldn’t break 3? Or could I?
I registered for the Richmond Marathon in 2017 with the sole goal of breaking 3 hours. I gave myself 50-50 odds if I could break 3 that day. My husband saw I went out around 2:55 pace and bet my mother-in-law $100 I was going to either blow up or drop out (FYI: at this point in my life I’ve never dropped out of a race). I ran 2:47:00 that day with a huge negative split. It was after that race being 2 minutes off that I thought, wel’, I might as well see if I can drop 2 more minutes and make my first U.S. Olympic Trials. Why not, right?!
What were the mental adjustments you had to make during the journey to achieve the qualifier?
The largest mental adjustments came after I had the qualifier. I wanted to frame my expectations from “I’m just happy to be here” to “I’m here to compete,” and that’s where the mental (and physical!) work came in.
The mental confidence followed the physical progression. Around this time, I asked my previous coach, Scott Raczko, to coach me full-time. We added more structure into my training, more volume, strength work, intentional, tailored workouts… and pretty much every week he would send me a workout and I’d laugh because “uh, I can’t do that, who does he think I am?” But I trusted him, so I always told myself, “Go for it, try to hit the times, and then you can just stop the workout when you can’t hit his times anymore.” His times were always spot on. I’ve never had to stop a workout (OK, once in early 2019 was super-hot and once I was feeling sick, but I probably should never have started the workouts those days… but I never stopped because I wasn’t capable of hitting his times).
After each workout, I would think, “Wow, that was so much better than last week. That was the best work out of my life.” That’s a really powerful thought; I kept craving more.
I was more fit physically than I even knew mentally. That requires a lot of work to get your head straight.
Were there any periods in which you went through an emotional period?
Yes, every third week of my training cycle where my volume was way up, I found myself more emotional those weeks because I was physically exhausted. I’d have to warn my husband at the start of those weeks, “This week I’ll be around 125 miles… I’m sorry in advance for having less patience and not being able to troubleshoot properly… also, there’s going to be a lot of take out dinner… and the laundry may pile up…” Exactly what every partner wants to hear, I’m sure…
On a larger scale, I’m convinced going through an emotional period in life, in general, is what allowed me to become the runner that I am at age 35. I started piling on the mileage while my husband was gone with the military. In the last three years, he’s been gone a lot. I struggled with it. Despite my husband’s efforts (he truly is a remarkable man), I was lonely and overwhelmed with two young kids (and this is with having all the help I could ask for in my parents and my husband’s parents). It felt like things were out of my control and my running was my outlet. Running was time to myself, it was something I set all the parameters on, something I was good at, it connected me to others, something I was proud of, something that was going right… and as a parent, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing a lot wrong. I could start a run emotional and by the end, you have sweat out all the stress, almost zen-like. Running was my clutch.
How did you balance your life during the training period (family, work, training)?
I’ve felt a lot of internal pressure to succeed in my career and stay on top of my responsibilities at home while I’ve been training. I’ve been so afraid that if stuff starts to fall apart at the house or if I’m not kicking butt as a realtor, my family would think running is taking up too much time and I would need to adjust everything (AKA: not run as much).
I’ve said it from the beginning that my priorities are clear: 1. Family 2. Real Estate 3. Running. I’d never miss an open house or a real estate deadline for a run… but I would get up at 4 a.m. to get a run in so I don’t have to choose.
It makes me feel less guilty to go out for a long run when I know there are groceries in the house, laundry is folded, kids are happy, and I sold a house last week. Again, these are all internal pressures, but I just don’t want to put so much added stress on my family that they want me to stop running.
I balance my life with a lot of help. I lean on a lot of people to help with stuff around the house and assistance with my kids to fit everything in. It’s hard for me to ask for help, but I’ve been doing quite a lot of it.
I also think having such clear priorities in my life helps tremendously. If something pops up that isn’t one of my top 3, I probably need to say no. This is hard for me to do because by nature my first reaction is “Oh! That sounds fun, I’m in!” Before this last training block, my husband offered me some great advice around not spreading myself to thin and focusing on what matters. It was very helpful to frame my mind in this way.
How did you handle the days when the workout did not go as planned?
You have to get over it, quickly. Analyze what went wrong so you don’t make the same mistake again and then move on. One workout or one race doesn’t define your fitness; I just brush it off and move on. Honestly, I think that’s a strength of mine. Maybe this ties into my inflated self-confidence, but I’m quick to say, “Wow, that sucked. That’s not like me to suck that bad.” Instead of thinking one bad workout means I’m a bad runner. I see it as a fluke that can be prevented in the future.
The more important thing here is when you are feeling like a workout is starting to go downhill (without sickness/injury/crazy weather factors), being able to say “nope, I’m not going to have a bad workout today, I can finish this strong.” Sometimes just telling that voice “no” and pushing through can turn a “bad” workout into a “that started rough, but I pulled it together. I’m proud of myself.” I’ve also been working on not feeling sorry for myself when a run/workout/race gets hard. I tell myself “I’m not a victim here, I signed up for this. I’ve been waiting for this point where it hurts, and I question myself… I can push through.”
But then also, if you are feeling sick, injured, or it’s 50 mph winds, you need to either not do the workout or adjust your expectations. I find when I’m forcing a workout, that’s when they can go south.
All this being said, when I first started back at running a few years ago now, I had several days where I’d just stop in the middle of a run because I wasn’t feeling good, cry a little, and walk home. When I got home, I’d just think, “well, it wasn’t there today, I’ll try again tomorrow.”
When Keira laces up her shoes who does she become?
My first reaction is this Keira isn’t too far off from everyday Keira. I’m competitive in most aspects of my life; I’m also assertive, determined, and confident… the same skills I use in Real Estate or when I was a student. I think I hold myself to high standards in general, so that doesn’t change too much when I lace up the shoes.
The thing that does change though is I feel very free. For the next 90 minutes (or however long) while running, I can think about whatever I want and put the rest of life on a brief pause. That being said, I always run with my phone, so I’ll always stop to pick up a real estate call or family emergency, etc. But in general, everything pauses and it’s just me for a while. I find a lot of peace in that. I love my life, it’s perfect, but I value that quiet, alone time to sort through my thoughts… or to simply, be thoughtless. When I’m running, I’m not rushing, I’m not waiting in traffic, I’m just running. It’s a nice feeling (most of the time!).
As Feb. 29, 2020, came closer what were your thoughts about three days out?
I felt very content with where I was. Training went great, my health was perfect, I was feeling like I was finally mastering “the taper,” and overall, just really excited. I felt like things were “busy enough” at home and with real estate to keep my mind occupied and not overstress about anything. I do better with an occupied mind.
I was fairly confident Saturday was going to go well for me. The work was there.
What strategy did you have planned for race morning?
I tried my best to downplay the enormity of the event and treat it like a workout. I had been nailing all of my workouts during the training cycle, so why change anything? It was just another workout… only with thousands of people cheering. I think I almost did too good of a job downplaying everything because it almost felt confusing with how many people were there and how loud it was.
My coach gave me a pace range for what I should try to hit each mile and that was my plan. To run my race… we figured that might put me in the lead pack… or possibly alone, but that didn’t matter too much. Just run as fast as I could that day…
My coach knows I’m super competitive, so I think he feels safe saying “run your own race” because he knows I’ll try to beat everyone I can in the process.
Can you recall the final 10 minutes as you were on the start line?
Vividly. I warmed up with a friend from the D.C. area, Bethany Sachtelben. I really love and appreciate her company, she’s a remarkable person and extremely funny. Ten minutes before the start, they pull you into the start corral, Bethany and I were in Corral 2. We were both just looking around at the spectacle of it all. Then we looked up and noticed a neon yellow sign that read “Go, Keira, Go.” Bethany said something along the lines of “looks like your cheering squad is here.” I said, “Maybe there’s another Keira in the race, I’m not so convinced those signs are for me, they look so professional.” She goes, “I’m pretty sure they are for you… the one next to it says #49.” Sure enough, I was bib 49. My uncle really brought a strong sign game to the race. His signs were the best, no question!
I was looking around thinking “These girls may not even know who I am, but I’m going to try to beat as many as I can… ideally all of them…” I felt like I had a secret, no one knew how fit I was or even my name, but I honestly felt like I could set a big PR on that course. At the same time, I was thinking, “This is hysterical, what am I doing here?! I’m not a pro runner, this is my fun hobby, how am I so lucky to be standing on the starting line right now?!”
Then I thought, “This is a workout. This is a workout. This is a workout…” then the gun…
What were your thoughts when you crossed the finish line and how did you feel?
When I saw the finish line, I got emotional. I made it. How in the world did I finish this race today? I got so excited I started pumping my fists and “flying” with my arms down the straightaway. I’m sure spectators were like “um, she knows she didn’t win, right? Someone should tell her she is 12 places off the team… someone’s gotta tell her…” I didn’t care though. I was so proud of my journey, how hard I worked to get there, and that I was finishing on a day where I wanted so badly to quit.
My first thought after I finished was, I can’t breathe. That was ridiculous, I’m never running a marathon ever again. I’m not a marathon runner, this isn’t for me. I need to do shorter distances.
My second thought was I was 15th? I ran 2:34? I need to train harder, get stronger, get tougher, etc. etc. so 14 women don’t beat me next time. I need to do another marathon to set the record straight and prove I can break 2:30.
Looking back over your running career…how do you top your recent performance?
I think a frustrating, yet disciplined part of my personality is to immediately look to the next thing. Whether I hit my goal or not, I think, I can do better. Let’s get back to work. So I guess I answer this question with my best has yet to come. I feel very confident this performance will be topped… soon.
What is that you wish your children to know about their mother?
First off, I love them infinitely. They know this already though.
Secondly, I am lucky. I found my passion of running at a young age, and I’ve received so much from it my whole life. It helped build my confidence as a young girl, it created friendships I still have to this day, it gave me opportunities to go to school and to travel, it gave me another reason to be excited to wake up every day… it taught me discipline, time management, resilience, among others. I found a hobby that I love and I feel makes me a better person. My wish for them is they are lucky enough to find their passion and brave enough to go for it. Set the crazy goals and go after something you believe in and see what happens. It’s a gift, it really is a gift to find that. I am so darn lucky.
What advice can you share with other females with aspirations to become better?
To start, the only person that needs to believe in you is yourself. Yeah, it’s nice to have a fan club and a support crew, but you have to see it first… the others can be convinced.
Push away the mom guilt. It’s OK to do something for yourself. I personally feel like it’s a service to my kids to show them things like setting goals, working hard, dealing with disappointment, prioritizing physical fitness/health, you name it. But you need to be flexible… and you may find yourself running at crazy times of the day or on a treadmill. Do what you need to do to make it fit. But make it fit.
Lastly, patience. Running is a slow, constant build and you need to be healthy to keep at it. Build slowly. You don’t climb Everest in a day, but every step gets you closer to the top.
What is more important: the well being of the person or being a faster runner?
Easy question, well-being. A weird thought I had during the week leading into the Olympic Trials that I brought up with my husband was “what if during the race, something happens and I have to make a quick decision between being a good person or having a great race?” Anthony was just like “what in the world are you talking about?” I just tried explaining to him that as competitive as I am, I hope in that sort of moment, I would choose to do the right thing over winning. He asked for an example and I couldn’t even think of one that made any sense, but I hope if those two roads ever diverged, I would pick the right one. This probably makes no sense, but it means a big deal to me to be able to stand with my head held high.
Well-being first. Runner after.
