Take A Social Media Break

The week before Christmas was a challenging one for me on social media. The realization that I had become so over-involved in Facebook that it could affect me for days profoundly prompted me to try a little experiment.

What if I just took a break from Facebook? After all, I didn’t have to be logged in 24/7.

I could sign out for a few days and see how it felt, and I couldn’t imagine a better time to give this a try than the week of Christmas. Extra time with my kids, more time making memories, less time with a screen—perfect!

I signed out on Sunday night.

I’m not going to lie, for the first few hours Monday I felt a little twitchy. The compulsion to reach for my phone every time there was a moment of lull in activity was like a reflex I didn’t realize I had developed until I was actively stopping myself. It was more than slightly ridiculous.

By Tuesday, I felt like parts of my brain were turning back on. Re-engaging with the world around me was like tiny switches being flipped one at a time. I was more fully present in conversations with my children. I was able to leave my phone in another room without feeling a little panicked. I was able to sit and do nothing. It was remarkable.

I spent time with my kids, without my phone in my hand or in their face. I still took pictures and videos Christmas Morning, of course, but the immediate pressing need to post them had evaporated. These moments were for us. I didn’t have to share every single one. I didn’t have to share any of them. It could wait.

It should wait.

The moment that completely solidified the fact that I needed a break was when Facebook sent me an email on Wednesday asking why I hadn’t logged in and letting me know I was missing out on “lots of updates and activity! Take a look!”

I resisted.

You know that if Facebook is worried about you after three days, it’s a problem.

In those few days, I spent time on the phone, calling friends I hadn’t spoken to in many months, and it was so real. I could accomplish more in a ten-minute phone call when it came to connection and support than I could accomplish in an hour on Facebook. I spent time more relaxed and less stressed, without the constant need to be connected and interacting. My thoughts felt clearer, my heart felt lighter. I stopped thinking in “status format” when things happened around me.

I enjoyed them instead.

By Thursday, I was honestly contemplating deleting the entire thing. I was really digging all this new-found freedom!

Instead, I decided to try something less drastic. I decided to take a few steps to reduce my social media consumption.

On Friday, I logged back in and went through my friend’s list. It needed a little editing. Reducing the number of people I interact with on Facebook is an essential first step in making social media work for me. I was missing the connection to people I actually knew because the list had simply gotten too long. It was surprisingly full of many people I had never even met in real life but knew online through our adoption process, friends of friends, or blogging.

All of them are very nice people, no doubt, but you know at some point you have to draw the line. It’s not a popularity contest after all, it is about keeping in touch.

This is especially important I think as a military spouse and can be a great tool for keeping those cross-country military spouse friendships (which I value so very highly) intact. But, with a newsfeed which had become so overcrowded and cluttered, I was missing out on the updates that really mattered most to me.

The bottom line is that I am intent on returning my personal Facebook page back to exactly that: personal. A way to connect with people I care about and for them to connect with me.

After that, the next step is to stay logged out during the day. I certainly don’t want to slip back in to old habits! If I’m not logged in on my phone, I won’t get constant notifications, and therefore, I won’t be constantly tempted to engage with my phone screen instead of my reality.

Real conversation and active engagement is a little messier than a well-crafted status update, but it’s also a lot more worthwhile.

It’s a new year, and I intend to spend a lot more time living in it. I’m “recombobulating.” This year will be a year of less-is-more social media usage on my part.

Here is a four-minute video about social media and how it affects users. I found it to be interesting and profound. I would love to hear your thoughts as well:

(Video credits YouTube user 1622Shimi)

Have you been tempted to delete your Facebook account? What do you think about your social media usage on a daily basis? Do you think social media makes us more or less connected?