10 Realizations from My First 20 Days OCONUS
On May 22 of last year, we got our OCONUS assignment news!
It was exciting and then it wasn’t.
I was a giant ball of stress for most of our prep time before relocating overseas. I’m not going to say that the instant we landed in Japan was the moment I felt all the stress melt away, but it was close. Let’s say it was our first full day here.
By chance, and by the time difference, it just so happened that our first full day here was also our wedding ceremony anniversary day!
PCSing to Japan has been an almost year-long rollercoaster for us. After arriving and spending our first 20 days here, I’m already in love with our new location. Even through my little rose-colored, island-life glasses, I’ve been making some observations of day-to-day military spouse life lessons.
1. When your partner says, “It’s okay,” or “it will be okay,” they’re always right.
For real, if I could have listened and believed that for the past nine months while preparing for our first OCONUS move, maybe my anxiety wouldn’t have manifested itself through one of our cats. Poor thing wound up on anxiety medicine. Not even kidding.
2. My brain still wants to function only in a civilian nature.
Six years married to the military and there’s still so much civilian in me! I don’t remember to bring cash for the baggers at the commissary, or that I’m not supposed to hold my husband’s hand while he’s in uniform, or automatically know which offices on the installation can help me do which things. This civilian world mindset was also helpful in our last location where we were on a remote assignment—five hours away from the closest military installations. Now? Not so much.
3. The installation is a giant beige maze.
Maybe I’m just terrible at navigating and orienting myself. There’s some mythical thing called an installation map, but I’m pretty sure the key word is mythical. So far as I know, I think there’s street names…some of the time, right? Possibly the BX can be my landmark? When a gate appears, I’ve gone too far. The truth is, this is absolutely my first time living on an installation, and I’m going to be very lost in my new environment for awhile.
4. Taking a taxi home means needing to know where “home” is located.
To be fair, it was only night two in our new on-base home, and our new on-base home does not have a street address. It’s a building number and neighborhood name (it’s also beige like the rest of base). To be honest, I didn’t intend on using a taxi so soon, and it would have been smart to save my home pinpoint into my phone’s GPS beforehand.
5. Driving in a new country is stressful.
Our new-to-us used car already has a brand new crack in it, and we’ve both turned onto the wrong side of the road—into oncoming traffic! Here’s to hoping doing that once is enough to learn our lessons. It’s terrifying and feels like you’re a parent guiding a 15-year-old with a learner’s permit while at the same time being that 15-year-old with the learner’s permit yourself. Except, this time, you’re 20 years older and very aware of the consequences and responsibilities associated with driving a two to three thousand pound car.
6. By the way, measurements are in metric units now.
That’s a 1,000 to 1,300 kilogram car to you, Miss.
7. It’s okay to be the only civilian.
I was offered the opportunity to join my husband at his language and culture class, and I took it. After arriving, I found out I was the only family member in our class, and therefore, the only civilian. Totally fine and totally worth it. I wish that class didn’t have to end and very much enjoyed the extra week of time spent with my husband learning about our new country.
8. Just because your partner is the active-duty one doesn’t mean they know every answer.
I have this tendency to think my husband knows absolutely everything related to family life with regards to being a military family, but I’m way off kilter with that assumption. After all, this is his first time living on an installation with family in tow. Why should he know the rules about obtaining a visitor’s pass automatically? Or at which pharmacy I’m allowed to refill my allergy medicine? He just moved to this base at the exact same time I did. He will, however, help me figure it all out, and that’s the important part to remember.
9. Social media groups can be helpful tools.
At least as a starting point for answers, social media groups dedicated to specific locations can be of great value when you’re new to an area. I’ve already asked countless questions and received some valuable information this way. I’m keeping in mind, though, that the answers I may receive from this type of venue are based on personal experience and not necessarily coming from official sources of information.
10. This is our biggest, most adventurous PCS yet.
What a fantastic opportunity! To live overseas together in a place we both find exciting and enjoyable is such a blessing. I absolutely can’t wait to see what we make of this grand adventure.
Every PCS allows for the chance to start fresh and start (and hopefully stay) positive about your new location.
What’s been your most adventurous PCS? Have you made any military spouse realizations within your first few weeks of a move?
