Thankful Through Deployments

Yes, you read that title correctly. Thankful Through Deployments. Seriously? What, in all of the deployment training, preparation and packing, family separation for six, nine, maybe twelve or more months of tour, and the reintegration back, is there to be thankful for?!

Who would dare make a statement like that?

I did. I made a concerted effort to say that. And sometimes continual efforts, choices really, to stay focused on the good when I tend to lose sight of it. Because we all know deployments stink. So how in the world can we be thankful?

Here are a few thoughts to contemplate:

Thankful to serve others.

It’s time. The dwell time clock is ticking, and we always know a deployment is looming. It’s the accepted mission when joining the military. It’s simply just time. Our spouses step up and are proud to do their part to serve. We can be thankful our servicemen/women have capable bodies to accept these missions. We can be thankful that we have all we need on the home front to endure the tours.

In many cases, the one deployed is honored to use the skills learned to help a greater good. The ones staying back are proud to serve in a support role.

Thankful for the opportunity to work on a relationship.

If you are friends with the deployed serviceman or woman, this is a chance to see if you can stay connected and remain forever friends. We all need a forever friend! If you are dating, this is a chance to test your limits and think about the future.

Can you see yourself in these military roles down the road?

If you are married, this is a chance to find creative ways to keep the spark alive; to grow your love and respect for each other through challenging times.

This is a chance to work on communication because that’s about all you have right now.

Thankful for independence.

There is no better way to grow ourselves individually than to be forced to be distanced from the one we love most. This might be a chance to find ourselves again, through work, through hobbies, even through caring for our children.

This might be a chance to toughen up, and do all the hard things on our own like mowing a huge yard with a push mower, killing creepy crawlies, or fixing all the things that Murphy’s Law decided to throw at us. This is an opportunity to prove to ourselves what we are capable of. It’s a time to remember who we are and to be confident in that. It’s a time to become empowered.

Thankful for the opportunity to set goals.

We need to stay busy during deployments so the time moves faster. It’s a great opportunity to accomplish some bigger tasks. Maybe organize a few of those closets that look like World War III hit them? Maybe redecorate the house and finally hang the wall décor that you like! Perhaps you finally organize your millions of digital photos and create photobooks. How about going back to school – finish your degree or start a new one? If you have little ones who never let you get any of these things done, hire a trusted sitter to watch them while you work. Which reminds me…

Thankful for family separation pay!

There is a reason we receive extra pay while a servicemember is deployed. We can’t keep up with the shopping, and the lawn, and the children, and keeping our house clean on our own.

Pay that annual membership for free grocery delivery for the sake of time and convenience, pay for lawn service so you don’t spend three hours on it and you can enjoy time with your children instead, pay for extra childcare so you can accomplish your goals and get them done faster, and pay for a housecleaner, even if it’s only once a month!

Time is money! And your servicemember will appreciate you being sane when he/she returns!

Thankful to control the channel changer!

It’s a little silly, but it sure is nice to watch my shows more often. When I can finally sit down and relax for a few minutes at night, I don’t have to keep up with football and cheesy 80’s shows only my spouse seems to get a kick out of.

Thankful to try new things. Go ahead, take a few risks! Go on an adventure with a friend, take on a road trip alone with the kids, try a new hobby, start a new job. Think of this as an opportunity to pause, reflect on what you enjoy most, and go for it! The deployment will fly, and you will have a blast staying busy in these ways.

Thankful for a chance to see others in another way.

I now see widows and widowers differently. I feel for their loss, the absence of their loved one. At moments, I’m saddened by seeing an item my spouse left behind or catching a lingering whiff of cologne. I have hope my spouse is coming back to make it all normal and real again. I ache for those whose spouses won’t return, and I want to take more opportunities to encourage them.

Thankful for the opportunity to see the world differently.

My servicemember talks of his overseas deployments: the rancid smells of sewage, garbage and pollution due to poor systems in place; the underprivileged children with dirty clothes, little food and no toys; the crime and unrest of which families are surrounded.

There are some things we may despise in our own country, but we are rich and fully blessed in comparison.

It teaches us to gratefully accept what we have. Especially for the children to be thankful for their “boring” toys and to eat the “yucky” food on their plates because they are fortunate.

Thankful for the chance to be humbled.

I was trying to be tough. I wanted to persevere through challenges and feel successful. I dislike asking for help because I absolutely hate inconveniencing others. I wanted to prove something to myself – but I don’t really know what. I quickly learned I am not superwoman.

It doesn’t matter if you have one child, five children, or no children. Keeping up with life while having your loved one away is hard. And if you’re feeling lonely, it’s even harder. Let your friends watch your children, accept the invitations to have dinner at someone’s house (yes, even if you have tons of kids and you’re worried they’ll cause too much chaos – you were invited for a reason!) pay for those extra services, lighten your load and try not to be prideful.

I’m still learning…but I’ve been accepting more and more!

It’s really an attitude. I’m far from perfect, and I’ve complained A LOT! But in this season of thankfulness, I hope we can uncover these reminders, and make a choice to harvest all the good.

Then, we can truly be thankful through deployments.

*For More insight like this, click on Lavaughn Ricci @AWN