The B Side
Growing up in the late 70s and early 80s, I became a savvy record collector. You all remember records? The old school way to build a playlist??
I admit, I usually bought a record for the A side. That side of the album or 45 that had the hit song, the catchy song, or the song I wanted to hear every time I turned on the radio.
I never bought a record for the B side, but I have been thinking a lot about the B side lately.
In our military life, the A side is SEXY!
Full of the hit songs like homecomings, military balls, travel, Instagram pics and just “living our best lives.”
But I am curious…. What’s on the B side?
Why do we keep going back to the A side?
What’s wrong with playing the B side of the Army Album?
Deployments are not glamorous no matter how much Hollywood pumps them up. Recently, an Army spouse put Netflix in check with her REAL review of their movie “Purple Hearts”. Emma put them on blast and the military tribe cheered her on!
That ain’t us Netflix… that’s the A side—the Hollywood side of the military.
So what’s really on the B side?
On the B side, you will find the songs no one listens to (or wants to… AT FIRST).
Everyone wants to breathe in the salt air of Hawaii or romp through the “A side” of Europe.
But eventually, we all must flip the record (Imagine with me, young spouses) and play the B side track entitled “You are NOT in charge of your zip code.”
It may be painful but…
The B side is part of the package deal.
It would be easy just to continue to play the A side of life… like we do everyday on social media.
But are we really here to sing along to only the popular songs?
Do we only pursue the career jobs and the dream houses?
Can we find joy in the “interim jobs” and the “temporary homes”?
Is there more to this life than what meets the eye?
What songs exist on the B side?
They are the songs of solitude and solo parenting.
They are the melodies of moving (and madness) this life brings.
They are the hymns of houses that don’t fit, and hearts that shatter with each goodbye…
But also…
They are the symphonies of friendships found in the most unlikely of places.
They are the guitar solos that fill you up with adrenaline as you thrive through the hardships.
They are the drum beats of fear and anxiety that forge you in the fire and give you strength.
They are the one hit wonders of loving a duty station others can’t stand, and experiencing the side of life others can’t imagine.
And like one hit wonders… they often can’t be repeated.
For every homecoming, there is heartbreak.
For every milkid crushing their new duty station, there is another one hiding in their room.
For every spouse with a career that packs up nicely, there is one desperately rewriting their resume and starting over.
For every home with views of the ocean or the mountains, there is one with paper thin walls and rooms that don’t quite fit.
If you find yourself on the B side…. don’t despair!
For it is on the B side that we hear the soulful notes of pain and hardship, and we need to hear them.
We need to know that for all the blessings of this life, there is a trade-off.
There is injury, pain, loss of self, and the unthinkable… the loss of life.
And although we bought that record for the A side, the B side is worth adding to our playlists!
After all… Queen’s “We will Rock You” was on the B side.
And ironically enough, The Rolling Stone’s hit, “You Can’t Always Get What you Want” was also a B side hit.
That song could be the “duty station wish list” anthem!
So as you embrace the flip side, I will leave you with lyrics from one more famous B side hit from Green Day…
“This Could Be the Time of Your Life”
*To read Emma Tighe’s viral post on “Purple Hearts, click here
*To read more from KP Palmer, click here
