The Journey to Discovering Your Why
This time of the year is notorious for finding something in your life you want to remove, increase, or alter from the previous year into the new year. Have you ever considered why we choose those things?
I’ve gone through many New Year’s resolutions in my lifetime. Becoming debt-free is always near the top of my list—each year I’m able to decrease it but never fully cross the finish line. Other times I’m able to commit to changing my behaviors for a better wiser self.
Why do some of the commitments we make never survive into February, while others become a lifestyle change? Finding the why inside, that core motivation to make the desired change.
Last year I didn’t start my new year off with a laundry list of things I wanted to do better. To be honest, with triplets who were nearly a year old, I was happy to make it through their first year of life relatively sane. It wasn’t until my eldest son’s birthday party in February where the change I needed to make slapped me across the face.
I hadn’t been happy with my physical appearance for a while; however, in the haze of motherhood, I neglected to do much about it. That is, until I saw myself in a full body picture at Aaron’s birthday party.
The next few days I sobbed and swore I would change and become the Renee I wanted to be. Not for any specific image, but because my confidence was erased in a moment and replaced with shame and disgust.
While the reason I finally decided to commit to making myself a priority began as self-pity and insecurities, it evolved into something I would have never imagined.
I began slowly, working out a few times a week, semi-watching what I ate, and seeing mild results. I found myself wanting to dig deeper. I began working out five days a week and tracking everything I was eating and even consulting with a nutritionist.
The changes continued on the outside, but more drastically on the inside. I discovered a love for pushing myself to be better, stronger, healthier, the role model for my children I always wanted to be. I wanted to live by example for my daughters that you can be strong, beautiful, and secure in who you are.
The reason I began my journey grew into a fire that burned inside me. I never wanted my daughters to feel less than their true value, or suffer from a crippling lack of self-confidence, or put their worth in anyone else’s hands.
I wanted to show them confidence is beautiful, even if your physical body has given four children life, resulting in loose skin and stretch marks.
You are strong, and you are beautiful.
To this day, I’ve lost 40 pounds through consistency and hard work. I created a healthy relationship with exercise within my family. Physical appearance is not the true definition of beauty, but the belief in yourself is. I now use what I’ve learned to help others find their true potential.
It’s a wonderful thing to grow your own confidence, but being there while others discover their own is absolutely amazing.
This is one of the many many changes I’ve decided to make over the years, but this one has become a lifestyle change.
Why?
It’s solely built on my driving force behind the decision. It’d be easy to give myself a weight goal to achieve, but then, what if I reach it? I stop and be happy? Or if I fail to achieve it, fall even further into despair?
It was once said to me, “When you’re choosing to do something, decide if it would be a reason you’d run into a burning building.”
Would I run into a burning building for a scale or to fit into a dress for an upcoming wedding? Absolutely not! But I wouldn’t hesitate to run into the flames for my daughters, to protect the love they will someday hold for themselves. That motivates me to push on through the hard days, to get my bum up at 0430 before anyone else wakes up, to exercise.
Yes, my original standard of motivation had a negative edge to it—pity and depression within myself. However, it became something so much more, something I’m proud of.
No matter what you want to alter in your life—quitting smoking, becoming debt-free, losing ten pounds, obtaining your dream job, or finally finishing school—find that driving force within, that passion and desire that even scorching flames can’t halt your charge.
Once you find it, hold on tight. The places it can and will take you are astounding if you let it.
