10 Tips on Making Your First Joint Budget

From June 2011 until March 2014, I was flying solo with my budget, but this month, that all changed. Mark and I have now merged our finances and have begun budgeting together.

Being the typical money nerd, I was so excited to have our first Joint Budget Committee Meeting, but if this isn’t your thing, it might feel a bit daunting. If you’re newly married, or if you’ve simply never created a budget (or spending plan), it also might feel overwhelming and confusing. I will admit that I felt a little stressed out at one point because of honeymoon expenses, but I thought of a few things that can be helpful for us and others in the same situation of being newly-married.

Here are my top 10 tips:

1. Don’t worry about being even.

One of you probably makes more than the other. In our situation, Mark is that person. In fact, I am currently unemployed because I left my job on April 1 since we are PCSing in May. I felt a slight bit of the I’m-not-contributing-enough syndrome, but contributing to the relationship in a meaningful way doesn’t always have to relate to money.

2. Have a mind of unity. 

Think “ours,” instead of “mine” and “yours.” Not everyone chooses to do so, but it is helpful to have a joint checking account.  That way, you can avoid the headache of dividing up bills and expenses between two separate accounts. It all goes into one pot, and it all comes out of one budget. Plus, being unified helps during the tough times.

3. Expect the first few budgets to be rocky.

Dave Ramsey says that it takes about three months, on average, to feel comfortable with the budget-making process. If you’ve never tracked your spending before, it might also be emotionally stressful to lay out expenses and come clean about over-indulgent spending habits. Give yourselves lots of grace and no judgment.

4. Overestimate your variable categories at first.

We have definitely done that for April, and that is partly why it’s so tight. It’s better to overestimate and have leftover money, than be scrounging halfway through the month. Remember, after the first three or four budgets, you will get the swing of things.

5. Choose a budgeting software or system you can easily access.

We are using YNAB (You Need a Budget). I’m not getting paid to say this, but I love this program! The license is valid on any computer you own, it can be installed on your work computer, there is a smart phone app that syncs using Drop Box, and they are currently working on a web-based version so you can access your budget from any computer. But regardless of what you choose, make sure you both know how to use it and can easily make changes.

6. Big changes require consultation.

You have to personally decide what is “big”. That might mean $20 to you or $200. Even though you both should have visibility on the budget, it’s important to communicate major changes. (Oh and yes, it is totally okay to change the budget during the month! It is a fluid process.)

7. Provide visibility on monthly automated expenses.

This includes when they post and from what account they are being paid. This applied mostly to Mark, since I had been living at home and directly paid my parents for expenses. I made a note of which things were automatic bills and on what days they post. Remember to note this for paychecks, too!

8. Don’t micromanage spending.

This applies mostly to us nerds. If you have his and hers pots, remember that they are his and hers. If your spouse wants to save it up for a big purchase or wants to spend it on lunches and Starbucks, that is okay.

9. Schedule at least one budget meeting per month.

We personally schedule two per month—the end of the month to create the new upcoming budget and mid-month to check our progress. If you need motivation, turn the Joint Budget Committee Meeting into a simple date at a coffee shop or the park.

10. Get outside your comfort zone.

Give input (free spirit) and be willing to spend a little fun money (nerd). We each think differently, and it’s important to be strong where the other is weak, so to speak.

What are some struggles you have encountered when making a joint budget?  How did you overcome those challenges?