What It Means To Me

What does being a military spouse mean to you?

I have asked myself this question several times. And as I continue my journey as an Army spouse, the answer to this question continually changes. Being a military spouse is not an easy role. When I’m having a particularly tough day, I like to ask myself this question.

When I first met my husband, his commitment to the National Guard is not something that I felt defined him, or us, for that matter. It was something I felt so separated from. To me, being with a service member was nothing more than one weekend a month where I couldn’t plan something fun for us to do.

When we got married, I was proud to say my husband was in the military. I knew how to describe his job and his rank. But I still felt separate from his military career.

And then my husband deployed.

That was my first real dose of life as a military spouse. I felt involved in his military career for the first time. And that is really when I realized what this role means to me.

Being a military spouse means being proud. It means being able to put the pride I have in my husband’s choice to serve over any sacrifices we have to make. I feel a deep sense of gratitude for the life we live because we have service members who sacrifice for us. While my husband was deployed, I was often asked how difficult the experience was or if I was worried. I always felt empowered when I responded, “I am just so proud.” I felt empowered because it was true: my pride overcame any other emotion I was feeling.

Being a military spouse means being flexible. It means being able to adjust to last minute changes, whether it is something as big as a deployment homecoming that you find out about hours beforehand, or something as little as rearranging your day to talk to your service member when there is a time difference. And not only do you learn to adjust to last minute changes, you learn to embrace them.

Being a military spouse means being strong. It is not easy to watch your loved one leave for a deployment. It isn’t easy celebrating holidays and birthdays without your spouse. And it isn’t easy trying to maintain a sense of normalcy for kids, family, and friends, despite your entire world feeling upside down. The strength and confidence I gained during my husband’s deployment will benefit me for the rest of my life.

And finally, I know that being a military spouse has brought me the greatest sense of gratitude for my life and the value of time. Being a military spouse means cherishing time in a new way. Being a military spouse means that you hug a little tighter, and you never say good bye without an I love you.

I am sure as the years go by I will be able to add so much more to this list. But no matter what, I know I am grateful for this journey.