5 Tips For Getting Around

No, no, no. Not like that!

In my previous blog, I mentioned that I cannot drive.

That’s a big deal in the over-16-year-old circles, yes, but it is even more so when you are a military spouse.

Your spouse deploys, goes to the field, or heads to a training school…

Okay. Now what?

I scrolled through an Army spouse Facebook page a few weeks ago and came across one such discussion.  A spouse who, like me, cannot drive, wrote a post asking for a ride to an appointment, promising compensation to the person who is generous enough to help her out.

While the responses were primarily along the lines of, “I’m sorry, I can’t, but I hope you find someone,” there was one that stuck out to me, initially because there were a few comments on it. I kept reading and became livid.

The responder asked if the inquirer had a car, and when the response came that she didn’t have a license, things went downhill fast.

For the purposes of this blog I won’t go into all of the details, but suffice it to say that the responder made it clear that her opinion was that one cannot be a successful military spouse and not drive.

Now, I am living proof that one can marry into the military and either not drive or be part of a one-vehicle family, wherein in the service member takes the car to work.

It is a challenge, I won’t lie. But it can be done.

Here are five things I have done to make our lives easier, and some things I will implement at our next duty station:

1. Use services like Amazon Prime or Instacart for groceries and other necessities.

I use both of these (with annual subscriptions). It means that I can make sure that we have everything that we need when my husband is away. It also means that I can get the shopping done even when he is in town. The time that we would spend shopping on the weekend is instead spent enjoying each other’s company. Yes, as I mentioned there is an annual subscription to both of these, but they may be worth considering working into your budget if transportation is an issue for you.

2. Installation bus system or cab company 

Every installation is different in terms of transportation amenities. It is important to research your duty station’s post transportation, as well as the public transit available in the surrounding area, when your service member receives orders. Some, like Fort Sam Houston, have a contract with a cab company. Service members and family members can get anywhere on post for a flat rate. Fort Bliss has the benefit of the Sun Metro, El Paso’s public bus system, making stops on post.

3.  Uber/Lyft

Your installation’s visitor policy (especially amid this pandemic) is what makes or breaks this option. Obviously, if you happen to find a ride-share contractor who already has a military ID, that person can pick you up and drop you off without a problem. If you find such a person, I would suggest talking to them about swapping numbers, so that you can reach out to him or her first if you need to go somewhere. It’s super helpful to have someone on speed dial who drives for a living (or for fun) and is willing to come get you at any time.

4. Make friends 

This seems obvious, but bear with me. When your service member is away, time can seem to drag. Having  friends, and not only one to talk to on the phone but also in-person friends, can help time pass more quickly. They can distract you with games or girls’ nights. Your kids (or pets) can have playdates. If you are willing to host the playdate and/or provide snacks, that helps!

Friends may be willing to pick up something you forgot at the store or leave medicine on the doorstep when your little one is sick.

I don’t love asking for help, so when a friend sent me a message on Facebook while my husband was at JRTC and let me know that she was more than happy to babysit my son while I went to an appointment, I was so grateful. Friends make this life so much easier.

5.  Volunteer Transportation/Care.com

In Watertown, New York (just outside of Fort Drum), there is an organization called Volunteer Transportation, a group of volunteers who will drive people to their medical appointments. The service is available for Medicaid and Medicare recipients, as well as members of the Exceptional Family Member Program. All you need to do is call the office two days before your appointment and give them the details. You’ll receive a call the day before your appointment with information about your driver.

While I’m not aware of comparable organizations  at other installations, there is always the option of Care.com and similar sites. You can find someone on such a site who is willing to help you get where you need to go. The cost will vary based on a number of factors, including distance and frequency, but it may be worth taking into consideration.

 

This list is by no means exhaustive, but I hope it is helpful for anyone who might face challenges with transportation during their military life. I also recognize that a few of these options do cost money, but they may be worth working into your budget, if you need the resources. Your mobility should not be the deciding factor of whether or not you marry the love of your life. It should simply be a discussion, and something that you and your service member work through at each duty station.