A “Coffee Group” Without Coffee
Despite its many changes throughout the history of the Army, the coffee group has become a widely used term to mean a social group consisting of the spouses of a unit.
Many wonder why it’s called a ‘coffee’ if coffee isn’t usually served.
Traditionally, coffee was served in the mornings while tea was reserved for the afternoon. Married women of active-duty soldiers, most of whom didn’t or weren’t allowed to work, historically met socially in the morning over coffee to plan events, share information, or even roll bandages during times of need.
Before the inception of soldier and family readiness groups, the unit coffee group was one of the main sources of information for unit wives.
In time, the Coffee Group transitioned to both an informational and a social event.
Today, a unit coffee group is mainly a social club, but they still often share calendars and information from around post and the unit.
As the Army has evolved, so has the unit coffee group. With inclusion of male and female spouses, many of whom work outside the home, the monthly coffee group is held often in the evening.
How does a Coffee Group get organized?
Starting with an updated roster, each spouse is welcomed into the coffee group as they attend the coffee. Some units will welcome new members with a small gift, often the unit’s crest pin — a small pin that keeps the unit close to your heart, thereby worn on the left side of the lapel.
Coffee groups may bid farewell to their members with a small gift usually representative of the unit or the post. (Note, these are not official spouse welcomes and farewells that are reserved for the spouses of commanders and command sergeants major at the battalion level or higher).
The spouse of the unit’s commander, when available, will lead the coffee group alongside the spouse of the unit’s command sergeant major.
Traditionally hosted at the battalion level and above, the spouses of those in other leadership positions (e.g., company commander, first sergeant, platoon leader, etc.) may be invited to the unit’s coffee group.
When the unit’s commander does not have a spouse to head the coffee group, the spouse of the unit’s command sergeant major, executive officer, or other senior leader might step up to lead.
The volunteer heading up the unit’s coffee group will typically host a few coffees, but will pass around a sign-up sheet for others to take a turn hosting. In hosting a coffee there is no set rule. Many choose to go for a fun evening out for dinner, bowling, or even mini golf—though this may be cost prohibitive for some members.
Hosting and Planning a Coffee Group
Hosting at someone’s home is always fun and can lead to zany themes like trivia night, messy dress, favorite things, cooking class, murder mystery night or wreath making, to name a few.
To include those unable to make it in the evenings, hosting a bi-monthly event like Saturday brunch, shopping trip, or museum tour goes a long way to reach as many unit spouses and significant others as you can.
To gain momentum within a coffee group there are a few tricks the Protocol and Traditions Team has found useful:
- Try sticking to a set date each month, such as the first Friday for monthly coffees or 2nd Saturdays in odd months.
- Ask current members to call new members and arrange to meet them or drive them to their first coffee.
- Share the history and traditions with group members, most people enjoy hearing why we do what we do.
It’s a hectic, modern world we live in, but there’s a good reason the unit coffee group is one of the favorites among the protocol and traditions team. No matter what style of coffee, or which members attend, a unit coffee is the place to laugh, cry, and commiserate with those who are on this Army adventure with you.
When the sign-up sheet goes around, team up with a buddy. It’s fun to see what new things you can come up with. Besides, having a night off from parent duty is healthy for everyone!
*For more information, read previous blogs on coffees: Life Lessons Learned at a Coffee | Army Wife Network and Coffees, Pins, and Camaraderie | Army Wife Network
