A Love Letter to So-Called Lazy Susan

Dearest Lazy Susan— 

First of all, I’m terribly sorry for the unfortunate name that has been so unfairly bestowed upon you. If I had it my way, I would have called you Hardworking Susan or Ever-Evolving Susan or Lady Susan of Spinnington. Nevertheless, I would like to express my sincere gratitude for your existence and dedication to organization during this month of love and appreciation for those who hold a special place in our hearts.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways… 

You work hard in spaces that often become scary bottomless pits of stuff. The dreaded corner cabinet is obviously one of your most frequented haunts, but I love to see you hanging out under a kitchen sink filled with carefully curated cleaning supplies or in an upper cabinet holding sprinkles and birthday candles that don’t get used as often.

You display arts and crafts supplies beautifully. The fact that you can organize myriad artist mediums in sections of rainbow colors is even more lovely, and the wipe-ability of your clear acrylic is sheer magic. 

Your ability to corral countertop clutter is unmatched. Whether it’s daily skincare and makeup products on a bathroom counter or oils and vinegars in the kitchen, you can make even the most mismatched bottles appear like they belong together. 

The options for materials and sizes are endless. While I love a clear acrylic version (especially a giant divided one) for pretty much anything, I can always go for a bamboo turntable or even stainless steel if we’re going for a more industrial vibe. As we speak, I’m on the lookout for a vintage marble version here in Italy to serve as the ultimate charcuterie spinner. 

The idea that a high-sided version can be utilized to organize a fridge shelf is simple yet genius. I wonder how many bottles of cocktail olives you’ve saved from being broken on the floor in the hunt for expired salad dressing. 

I love that you are a sucker for a good wellness product. Vitamins actually get taken in the mornings and protein powders don’t go to waste in the back of the pantry when there’s a turntable around! 

Your capacity for helping kids stay organized has no limit. From Legos and Hot Wheels to crayons and glue to applesauce pouches and snack packs, you hold it all without complaint. You somehow magically make it more fun for kids to put things away when there’s a little spinning involved. 

You are the master at maximizing useable space. Yes, you do technically waste square inches in the corners, but I will often happily give up that tiny bit of corner in order to better use a rogue shelf. And you’re a huge help to rotate daily-use items like straw cups so I’m not always just using the front few! 

You love a good label. Whether it’s a stylized handwriting label or a polaroid picture glued on each section, you know how to maintain clear boundaries for yourself and we all appreciate that. 

Finally, you adapt to the military lifestyle as well as we do. In Kansas City, you contained travel-sized toiletries in the guest bath, you held baby bottles and teething rings in a corner cabinet in Virginia, and now you organize wooden blocks and Magna-Tiles in the play area in Vicenza. Sometimes you’re sitting out in plain sight, and sometimes you’re under a sink. And you’ll never get tired of going ahead in the unaccompanied baggage because you know I can’t stand the thought of waiting an extra eight weeks to put you back to work. 

Thanks a million for all you do, and please let me know who I can write to about officially changing your name.

Forever lovingly yours, 

Lauren 

Professional organizer, military spouse, and toddler wrangler in Vicenza, Italy