A Shoutout to the US Army

Thanks for the housing allowance, free health insurance, and our custody agreement that allows me to see your property (Whom I call my husband. It’s silly, I know.) on some weekends and holidays.

Thanks for keeping my mind sharp by changing schedules and plans last minute, so I can never plan anything. It keeps me young.

Thanks for the twitch in my eye that I developed from hurrying up and waiting.

Thanks for letting me see the world but not like… the cool parts of it. That’s for the Navy, and it keeps me humble.

Thanks for sending my husband to the other side of the world every other year. It keeps our marriage fresh and full of surprises.

Thanks for the amount of paperwork it takes to go anywhere, or do anything, or see anyone. I hate trees and oxygen, plus my penmanship can use the practice. Honestly, 90 pages for my kid to play T-ball is too little paperwork, really.

Thanks for teaching me resilience, empathy, the value of friendship, loyalty, and how to adapt. Thanks for making me a better wife and mother and giving me a pretty awesome life—paperwork and all.

They say that if the Army wanted you to have a wife, then they would have issued you one.

But thanks for tolerating my existence anyway.

Love,

A grateful dependent