Are You a Military or Veteran Caregiver?

You seem to hear the word “caregiver” more often these days. The last year highlighted many of the challenges caregivers face for the general public. You might be one of those people who recently learned about caregivers. Which leads me to my question: how do you know if you’re a caregiver?

To be honest, I didn’t know I was a caregiver. My husband is a combat-wounded Marine, and he was going through the military treatment facilities, then the Wounded Warrior Battalion at Camp Pendleton. Even during that time, I still did not realize that I was a caregiver—or that I would be for the rest of my husband’s life.

It wasn’t until one day, when I was in the waiting room at Balboa Naval Hospital, a lovely nurse asked me the question. She came out and asked, “Are you Stephen’s caregiver?” I quickly pulled back and brushed that off by saying “No, no, my husband is young, I’m just his wife.” Diplomatic and full of wisdom, she smiled at me and said, “You are probably both.”

That conversation and particularly that word “caregiver” stuck with me. So, that night, I searched the term “caregiver support.” My whole world opened up. I was finally finding things that resonated with where I was in life. I found information about caregiver burnout, special military caregiver family leave, and a Facebook group with members just like me.

Since then, I have devoted my career to growing in caregiver education and providing support for other caregivers. That is what led me to my role today as the Director of the American Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network.

The Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network (MVCN) was started in response to the 2014 RAND Study “Hidden Heroes—America’s Military Caregivers,” which showed that caregivers experience overwhelming isolation in their roles.

Today, the MVCN serves more than 8,000 military-connected caregivers and is completely run by military and veteran caregivers. All our staff and volunteers have personal, lived experience caring for a service member or veteran. We provide peer support services to caregivers of all eras, all branches, all relationships, and across all locations.

The three signature programs of the MVCN include:

1. Caregiver peer mentor program, where caregivers on similar life journeys are connected for one-on-one support.
2. Caregiver peer support groups: online groups to share and connect and to decrease isolation. Caregivers are welcome to drop in or be regular participants.
3. A caregiver-only online community that offers more than 50 topic groups to connect with, workshops, self-care resources, wellness activities, and more.

The Network operates 24/7 to accommodate the busy schedules of the caregivers we serve. We also have a caregiver calendar where caregivers can find, bookmark, and attend online or in-person events that may be of interest. It is updated regularly and has easy registration links.

The Red Cross Hero Care Resource Directory is another phenomenal tool for caregivers. It features more than 800 resources for every zip code in America. Caregivers, service members, veterans, and military and veteran families can search for community-based resources and national support organizations, as well as programs and services. These services can assist them all across the country with food, housing, goods, transit, health, money, care, education, work, and legal support.

So, how do you know you’re a part of the caregiver community? At the Red Cross MVCN, we developed a quiz to ask the questions I wish someone had asked me while I was first learning that I was a caregiver.

If you answer “Yes” to any of these questions, you may very well be a military or veteran caregiver. And if you are, we want to welcome you with open arms to join us at the Military and Veteran Caregiver Network. We don’t ever want you to feel you have to go it alone. We are here to listen and help as you move through your caregiver journey.

Do you provide care for a service member or veteran who may need assistance due to wounds, illness, or injury?

Do you help a service member or veteran who struggles with stress, emotional issues, anger, or depression?

Do you contribute to the care of a service member or veteran by taking them to medical appointments, managing medication, or arranging any form of health care?

Do you feel responsible to care for a service member or veteran because they are your spouse, son/daughter, friend, sibling, or other family member?

Do you ever feel alone or isolated because no one around you does the same thing or seems to understand?

You can access all of our programs and services from redcross.org/caregivers.

By Melissa Comeau, Director of the American Red Cross Military and Veteran Caregiver Network