Don’t Drift Apart: Develop Relationship Anchors
I was reading Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business by Azriela Jaffe and came upon the concept of relationship anchors. These are daily rituals that help you maintain your commitment to the relationship.
Anchors are extremely important when, between work and kids, events can quickly overcome you until neglect your spouse. Anchors can save you time and effort and simplify the way that you relate to each other while increasing your bonds and connections.
Anchors can be saying “I love you” every day, giving a hug and kiss whenever you leave or return from work, talking on the phone each day, or taking weekly walks together, hand-in-hand. As I read, I started to think about the anchors we use to stay in tune with each other and I compiled a short list of daily, weekly, and monthly anchors that my bride, Joy, and I use.
Daily:
- Say “I love you” and kiss and hug to start our day
- Text to check in and say “I love you” in the morning and again before I leave the office for home
- Trade emails with updates on our day
- Say “I love you” and kiss and hug to end our day
Weekly:
- Prepare a meal together
- Watch a video or movie together after the kids are asleep
- Go to church together
Monthly:
- Have a date night—just the two of us
I hadn’t thought about how important each of these is to our relationship, but they are. Each anchor gives us time to reconnect with each other.
Work together with your spouse to develop your own relationship anchors. Make sure to finish it by signing as indicated.
Anchoring Ritual—Completion Time: 20 minutes
In these crazy times, it’s important that, as a minimum, we do the following with and for each other every day or week. Don’t worry if you can’t come up with 10, or if you come up with more. The important thing is to get you thinking about and acting on being anchored in your relationship.
1. ___________________________________________________
2. ___________________________________________________
3. ___________________________________________________
4. ___________________________________________________
5. ___________________________________________________
6. ___________________________________________________
7. ___________________________________________________
8. ___________________________________________________
9. ___________________________________________________
10. __________________________________________________
If we commit to each other that no matter how busy we get, we will make the time for those activities that center us and sustain our relationship during difficult times.
Place your initials at the end of each sentence, and sign it at the end to affirm your commitment to your marriage and your spouse.
