Coaching Your Child Through Bullying
A few weeks ago, I painfully overheard three middle school moms discussing the mistreatment of one of their children being accused of bullying: horrified because the school had called the parents to report the incident, angry because their child had been reprimanded and called into the Vice Principal’s office, and reluctant to pause and reflect how discrimination could be classified as bullying.
My heart beat gained momentum, and I instantly felt a sadness for many reasons.
First, because the conversation was one-sided and lacked empathy.
Second, this is the 21st century where consequences for bad behavior have seemed to shift to a collaborative process which stunts growth.
And finally, because the nameless victim was my son, who has systemically received some form of bullying on and off during his entire student career.
Sure, he is one of the tallest kids in his class, has a kind soul with a pure heart, is crazy athletic, and can create art in seconds, but he is also in the “dumb class” at school (not my words) as he receives special education intervention services through his Individual Education Plan (IEP) because of which he has received ridicule and taunting from classmates as he “has no brain cells.”
Three incidents within the first two weeks of the 2020-2021 school year have left this mama’s heart heavy.
Has your child ever been bullied at school? If so, what was the reaction (if any) from the teacher, administration, or your child?
After reaching out to several professionals in education, social work, and health care, we have been inundated with resources, encouragement, and support. One of our dear friends and author, Trevor Romain, highlights what children can do to become bully-proof through his 2016 book, Bullying is a Pain in the Brain.
We can empower our children to know they can do something about bullies. Here’s how:
- Give kids who bully tons of space.
- Stand up for yourself and/or someone who is being bullied.
- Report bullying to an adult—you can even do it anonymously.
- Delete mean texts or other social media negativity and never forward them.
- Make friends. It’s hard to bully kids who are with happy, smiling, friendly people.
Adults who knowingly allow children to mistreat, discriminate, and talk down to other children who don’t share the same abilities, race, ethnicity, politics, values, love, acceptance, and a growth-mindset stifle the human process of coexisting in peace.
If your child or a trusted loved one tells you they are being harassed or bullied, I urge you to listen, communicate, and support your child at this time. No one deserves to feel alone and our charge as parents and caregivers is to negate poor behavior from both adults and children who aren’t willing to tolerate differences.
