Eating Disorder Challenges for Military Spouses and Children

Eating disorders occur more often among active-duty service members and veterans than among the general population. There are many reasons for this: perfectionism, past trauma, making weight requirements, weight and shape stigma, and mental health stigma. But what about military spouses and children? Do they experience eating disorders as well?

Short answer: Yes, they do. From external circumstances to challenging family dynamics, there are several possible contributors to eating disorders in military dependents:

Challenges for Family Members

Many military personnel have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. Many more suffer in silence. Research shows that the children of service members may adopt the disordered thoughts and behaviors of their parents. This includes overexercise, extremely rigid eating habits, and guilt about overeating.

Having a loved one deployed can cause anxiety about their safety or regarding change in a more general sense. Having to “hold down” a household without a member present can cause distress. These feelings both contribute to the development of and the sustaining of an eating disorder.

Being a family member of someone in the military does not automatically mean you will develop an eating disorder. Some individuals are predisposed to conditions like anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. The challenges that come with being a military family member may spark the onset of any (or all) of these disorders.

Structure and Rigidity

Service members are expected to have discipline, focus, and control—and this mindset can be brought home. On the other hand, while many military family members live with the rigidity, structure, and efficiency imposed on them, they may feel a lack of control in their own personal lives.

For those who are predisposed to eating disorders, that method of control is through changing their weight, shape, and/or relationship with food. Eating disorders are what military family members may turn toward to regain some sense of control.

Perfectionism in the Military Family

Military personnel were either born with or develop some level of perfectionism while training and throughout active duty. This is partly due to military culture and ethos, which highly values aspects of perfectionism.

Perfectionism has been linked with eating disorders in many studies. Researchers suggest that there are two factors of perfectionism associated with eating disorders: self-imposed and family-pressured.

Perfectionism can be present as a genetic trait in a military family, or come from feeling pressured into perfectionistic expectations by a perfectionist service member. In either case, a family member may adopt unrealistic expectations of themselves, their bodies, and their behaviors. 

While the “perfect” body doesn’t exist, perfectionists will strive for it, using any means necessary to achieve this unrealistic goal.

Unique Challenges for Military Children

The challenges above are faced by military children, just like anyone else in the family, but there are unique challenges for children of service members.

Military children often move around a lot. Never being able to settle down and difficulties with making changes can cause feelings of anxiety and depression. Constant change can also make military children feel out of control. Both of these factors can contribute to an eating disorder.

Military Health Care and Eating Disorder Treatment

There are options for military dependents with eating disorders. TRICARE and Triwest military health care plans cover several forms of eating disorder treatment including:

• Outpatient therapy
• Family based therapy
• Intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization, and residential programs
• Inpatient and acute medical care for the medically compromised
• Psychiatry
• Medication management
• Meetings with dieticians/nutritionists

A diagnosis from a doctor or other licensed professional is required to receive services, but services are often administered by specialists in the community or at eating disorder treatment centers.

If you or a loved one are struggling with an eating disorder, or think you may benefit from a professional consultation, reach out to your Primary Care Manager today as a first step on the path to healing.