Hold on to Yourself: Support for Caregivers

There are many healing and helping hands that touch the transition of a military member back to civilian life, especially if there are injuries involved.

The most overlooked and under-appreciated of that group? The family caregiver, be it a spouse, parent, or another member of the family. They perform a near-constant labor of love. They are the front line of all the spilling emotions, mood swings, and sleepless nights.

Many try to balance a full-time job with the role of primary caregiver. Often, they have children too, which adds another vital role of keeping the family safe, secure, and running smoothly.

As the manager of Hope For The Warriors Military Veteran Caregiver Support and Military Child Initiative Programs and a caregiver myself, I understand the problems caregivers face and their need for help and support. I’ve learned there is no better place to look for guidance than among my fellow caregivers.

One of my tasks as manager is to run the Facebook Caregiver Resource Hub, and I recently decided to use that platform to gather some tips from caregivers to help others in similar situations. The response I got was immediate, heartfelt, emotional, and perhaps most of all, helpful.

Here are a few of the answers that were offered:

• “Hold on to yourself. Realize that you too are important and your needs matter as well. Don’t be afraid to fight for your needs and stick up for yourself. It’s OK to feel frustrated and defeated at times; it’s a natural physical human reaction and response to situations, and heck, we’ve all been there more than once. You are not alone.”
• “There’s always help, be it someone to talk to, resources for learning, group activities, and more. Don’t ever feel like you and your needs and wants don’t matter, because they do. If you’re ever unsure or feeling any kind of way, there is always help out there for us.”
• “Peer support, having someone who you can contact day or night to talk to you, talk you through things, and lets you know you’re not alone. Also, you can’t forget about you. You are no good to anyone if you aren’t OK. That’s why you always put your oxygen mask on first.”
• “Support from like-minded people is crucial.”

These are not theories or answers from a textbook. They are real-world answers from caregivers living the battle every day.

One of the common threads in most all the replies we received was the need for honest, caring support. Our Facebook Caregiver Resource Hub is a great place to find that type of support. The fact that this poll was conducted through that platform is a pretty good indicator of how well it works. It’s where all these great ideas came from.

The Resource Hub is a virtual community that encourages, supports, and promotes the military caregiver. It offers self-care tips, stress relaxation methods, mindfulness techniques, positivity, and relationship building. It offers a variety of services, including psychoeducation, interactive posts and events, and guest speakers.

Hope For The Warriors’ staff of caregivers host and moderate the group to ensure that participants abide by the group’s guidelines to keep messages positive and empowering.

The bottom line: it is a place for caregivers to share thoughts on the problems they face every day and help take care of each other through support and advice. If you’re a caregiver feeling stressed and pressured, visit the Hub. You’ll find a lot of friends!

Brittany Hunter is the Hope For The Warriors® Military Veteran Caregiver Support and Military Child Initiative Program Manager. She has assisted with programmatic development and implementation of the Military and Veteran Caregiver Support Services and Military Child Initiative. Brittany serves as Program Manager for both services provided by Hope For The Warriors®, supporting both the caregivers and military children. She also serves as a field instructor for interns completing Bachelor of Social Work and Master of Social Work program studies.

Brittany is a regional social worker who holds a Master of Social Work Degree from East Carolina University with a sub concentration in Substance Use. Her Bachelor of Social Work is from The University of North Carolina at Wilmington. Brittany is currently pursuing licensure for Clinical Social Work and Substance Use from the state of North Carolina.

Brittany is the spouse and caregiver of a medically retired Marine and resides in North Carolina with their two children.