Home for the Holidays?
Each year it seems like a difficult decision comes up: Do we go home for the holidays or not?
For some, this may be a topic that isn’t relevant. For others, it may be based on their current situation, i.e. deployment. Then there’s the other group.
This group, while the decision may still be discussed, will choose to spend the holidays their own way.
Before we had kids, we normally went home for the holidays or at least for Christmas, with the exception of missing a few due to one or both of us being deployed. Now that we have kids, a lot has changed; views have changed both within and outside our family.
A little while back, I was part of a discussion on whether everyone would be going home since our service members were currently gone. Surprisingly, the majority weren’t going home or didn’t really want to, but felt an obligation to. The response from outside family to those not coming home seems weird.
The reality is, either way we’re with family.
As time has gone on, and I’ve brought this topic up with more spouses of deployed service members, many of whom feel the same as the original group. It’s not a matter of not wanting to go home so much as it is wanting to be in your own home. It’s a matter of knowing that you can drive down the street and have a “moment” with one of your friends who’s going through this, too.
Holidays are already busy, hectic times. Sometimes, going home and running into someone who “didn’t realize there are still people over there” or the well-intentioned question of, “Is he in a safe place?” can just become too much.
We’re trying the best we can to make things seem as normal as possible. There’s still a lot that my kids don’t understand, like my 5-year-old pointing out that normally we have our lights up by now or my 3-year-old already being bored with that darn Elf on a Shelf because I don’t remember to move it every night.
I can do one thing—I can give them Christmas… Not the presents or the lights, but the pajama elves delivering special pajamas on Christmas Eve, the boys digging into their cinnamon rolls, and everything that leads up to their wonderful time of year.
Christmas Day will be just the boys and me here at home, doing what we would do if Daddy were here.
The holidays, just like a deployment, are best when you do what’s best for you.
