Asking for Help in Military Life is Hard

All the resources and blogs say that you don’t have to do the fort-holding alone.

You can and should ask for help when you need it, they say.

But, I’m going to let you in on a not-so-secret secret:

Asking for help is hella hard for me. As it is for many others.

Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with asking for help in my military life:

As a disabled person and a military spouse, it’s necessary for me to be able to ask.

The why is simple: Sometimes I need help.

For example, and as I’ve mentioned here and here, I can’t drive. I’ve used resources like Volunteer Transportation at Fort Drum, and Sun Metro Lift at Fort Bliss to get to scheduled events and appointments.

If I needed to go somewhere unexpectedly, I would call a friend and ask for a ride.

No big deal. It’s help I know I need, and friends are often happy to help.

But I don’t need help with everything.

Family members and civilian friends have offered to host my son and me, each time my husband has been away.

I appreciate and consider every offer. The offers come from a place of kindness and care, but they aren’t always the best choice for my family.

Sometimes I need to stay home, use the resources where I am, and spend time with the friends that have become family, here.

Stay tuned for part II, where I’ll explain why staying home is important to me.