How I Became an Army Spouse: Alika Schwartz

I grew up in a military household. I learned early that “Home is where the Army sends you.” Although I didn’t have traditional stability, I am fortunate that many of my dad’s career assignments included repeat stops in Oklahoma, Virginia, and Washington, where I grew accustomed to some familiarity with my surroundings. Nevertheless, shopping at the commissary, the post exchange, and even attending church at the main post chapel seemed normal to me, not Martin’s, K-Mart, or the local Baptist church. The Army Wife lifestyle is something that I always thought about: traveling, Hail and Farewells, deployments, and even the frequent PCS.

However, my journey to become an Army spouse didn’t happen exactly as I imagined!

I grew up thinking I’d meet my husband in high school; you know, high school sweethearts. That dream didn’t come to fruition, though, which, in hindsight, may be for the best. After graduating from high school, my next step was to attend college. I graduated from college in 2008, the year of the housing collapse. It certainly wasn’t the most job-seeker friendly economic environment. Beforehand, I thought I would get a job working in higher education in student activities. I loved the internship I had when I was in college working within the student activities department, being able to create, organize, and manage events. But the shrinking economy wasn’t prepared for the next influx of new talent, and many employers were not hiring. Additionally, instead of retiring, seasoned employees decided to remain employed to offset the losses from their suddenly shrunken 401K’s.

What to do:

With no prospects of a career within the field I wanted to work, I decided that joining the military would be a good opportunity. As you already know, the military provides security: financially, medically, and with a career with room for advancement. My dad happened to be a battalion commander in recruiting at the time, which helped me better understand the contractual obligations incurred with an enlistment. To prepare for success, I started to devote time to reading doctrine, educating myself on war games, and working out. Finally, I successfully enlisted in the United States Army and promptly went to basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina! After basic and AIT, I became a paralegal and went to Fort Knox, Kentucky. I absolutely loved my job. Joining the Army wasn’t something I ever thought I would do, but I was proud to become a soldier. Upon the termination of my initial enlistment, I decided to leave the enlisted ranks of the Army to pursue a commission through the Green to Gold Program.

Virginia:

I ETS’d out of the Army and moved to Virginia to live with my parents and wait for college to start. I decided to use the time to review Army doctrine, work on my fitness, and spend time with my family. I dreamed about graduating from the Green to Gold Program, working as an event planner, and serving in the Army Reserves as a Civil Affairs Officer.

That began to unravel when I met Brandon, who eventually became my husband. Throughout my time as a paralegal, I dated, but nothing ever turned serious. One day I mentioned to my friend about how the military lifestyle had ruined my chances of ever finding someone. She told me about her friend that I had to meet, who was PCSing to Virginia next to where I lived. After much deliberation, I decided to go for it, and I gave her the okay to give him my number. Hours later, I received a text message from Brandon. That night we sent texts back-and-forth getting to know each other. He seemed like a good guy, and he was really funny, too, so things were off to a good start!

Meeting:

After months of chatting daily, Brandon finally moved down to Virginia for his school. We went on a date and had a great time with each other. From that moment on I knew there was something about him that I had to explore. Still with a desire to earn my commission, I decided to apply for the direct commission program. I would attend graduate school in Virginia to continue seeing Brandon while I awaited further instruction from the board. We were enjoying each other’s company and traveling almost every weekend. At that time, Brandon graduated from school and received his PCS orders. One of the most fateful decisions of my life loomed in front of me, although I didn’t realize how important it would be. Should I stay or should I go?

Moving:

We took a leap of faith and decided that I’d join him at his next duty station. I was still close enough to continue my direct commission application, finish school, and be near my parents if everything went to shambles. Life as I knew it was different. I suddenly added a plethora of homemaking tasks to my daily routine, which began to outweigh everything else. I wasn’t prepared for the challenges of trying to pursue my own career path while embracing the job of a homemaker to a soldier. Brandon had early mornings, long days, and training exercises. Meanwhile, I stayed at home studying and cleaning. Collectively, we decided that being a dual-military couple wasn’t ideal for raising children. Since he was already established, I’d get out of the military and become a full-time homemaker. I decided to support Brandon from the sidelines, not from the battlefield like I originally imagined. Just like that, my military career aspirations and the years of preparation that went with them vanished. One major decision led to another, and in the span of months, the entire trajectory of life dramatically changed. Who would have known?

Homemaker:

Looking back on it today, I wouldn’t change my decision. Honestly, becoming an Army wife was so serendipitous. I have stumbled into the homemaker position rather than getting there through careful decision-making. However, this is a position that I’d dreamed about as a child, and I absolutely love doing it. Being able to care for my home and family is something I’d always wanted. I believe in that old saying, “you find what you are looking for when you least expect it.” Meeting Brandon has changed my life, and I will continue to cheer him on from the sidelines as a military spouse, appreciating every minute of it.