How Nomads Build Community
We are nomads. Not livestock-moving nomads (unless of course you count children and pets), but nomads nonetheless.
Dictionary.com defines a nomad as “a member of a people or tribe that has no permanent abode but moves about from place to place.” Sound familiar?
We are certainly a tribe all our own. Regardless of service (Marine Corps, Army, Navy, Air Force, or Coast Guard), we have common experiences with unique language and customs that seem strange at times to our civilian counterparts. With special customs only we understand, we’re like some unique culture in a world of normal.
Many of us commemorate occasions or celebrate anniversaries by making lists. Whether on Facebook, our blog, or wherever, when these occasions come, we make a list. It can go something like this: “Today we celebrate eight years of marriage. Thank you, honey, for four states, two countries, five houses, three children, and two dogs. It has been an adventure!” Or maybe this: “Thank you to my family and comrades for a fabulous fourteen years of service, three deployments, and six houses. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.” Lots of us love to make lists.
We mark the achievement of milestones from wedding anniversaries to retirement ceremonies with a list of places we’ve been along with other blessings and challenges along the way. It’s almost a rite of passage. Surely there should be some reward or medal for walking through all of those things and coming out on the other end together—and mostly sane.
Military life can be amazing. Whether we really do get to see other countries, experience local communities we would never have visited, or tackle building a home out of a million different houses, the military life can truly be the adventure we never expected. Generally speaking, we have adapted to this nomadic life and learned to enjoy the adventure.
Mostly.
I almost titled this blog “How Introverts Build Community.” But after some thought, I realized that we all struggle at some time to build a community when we can’t even stay put. I mean, who really likes to start all over building relationships with neighbors, coworkers, and church folks every couple of years? It can be exhausting and overwhelming. And yet, community is truly vital to sustaining and thriving in our way of life.
So, the question persists: How do nomads build community?
Here are five answers to that question:
- Show up: Going to a new place, sometimes we long for what we left behind. We need to be present where we are.
- Say hello: I can show up to a place expecting others to introduce themselves to me, whether it’s my neighbor or the ladies at church. Stepping up and saying hello is just as much my job as it is someone else’s.
- Find a home: Finding a church home, club, or other group can be one of the most challenging parts of moving. Be persistent. Joining with others for both fellowship and accountability is key. There is a place for you—find it.
- Love: Love is a verb. We build relationships by helping, serving, and doing. Look for ways to love those around you, from taking the time to have coffee to sending cards in the mail.
- Hang on: As we walk through this life we have both friends for a season and friends for life. Both are necessary and awesome. Friends for life are the ones we need to hang on to and stay connected with using virtual means but also handwritten letters and phone calls. Realize, too, that some of these friends will start virtually as you “meet” others through online Bible studies, social media, or other virtual means. Do not discount them.
Nomadic life has its challenges for sure. But truth be told, most of us would not trade it for anything. Many of us have come to see, over the years, that we end up in the right place with the right job and the right people at the right time. Our circumstances and locations are an adventure we never expected.
Building community must be intentional. We have to do it on purpose. Starting over at a new place every time can be tiring, but so worth it. We were not made to live and thrive in isolation. We were made for community. Both military and civilian friends through the years have given us fellowship. For some they have transitioned from friends to FRAMILY (friends who have becomes family) for us. We will no doubt meet others along the way who will do the same. They have things to pour into us, and we have blessings to give back in return. Do not discount the blessing of people that come across your path.
Enjoy the adventure. It’s going to be worth it.
What are your tips for building community? How do you do it?
