Imposter Syndrome: Am I Doing Homeschool Right?

As a homeschool veteran of eight years, I get a lot of friends, neighbors, and even complete strangers who reach out to me to ask about what real homeschool is like. They say they are looking for advice, but almost always the conversation ends with me reassuring them that they are fully capable of teaching their children and being successful at homeschooling.

Very much like a favorite topic of mine when I’m consulting with new entrepreneurs, I believe these homeschool parents suffer from a well-known doubt in oneself that we call “imposter syndrome.”

Imposter syndrome is when you doubt your abilities, competence, and success. Instead, you consider your achievements a result of being lucky, in the right place at the right time, or some other factor that degrades your actual value and accomplishment.

Simply put, you psych yourself out and convince yourself that you are not the catalyst for learning and possibly even detrimental to your child’s process, or that you haven’t taught them well enough.

“She learned those math concepts even though I could barely understand them myself. I’m so bad at this!”

“Yes, they learned cursive, but look at their handwriting!”

“I can’t believe we haven’t done science in two weeks.”

Sound familiar?

Without having statistics at hand, I’m going to guess that pretty much anyone reading this has suffered from imposter syndrome at least once in their life.

As a homeschool mom, my imposter syndrome was directly tied to my ability to teach my children in a way that would help them excel in academics. I worried constantly that I was doing it all wrong.

But I wasn’t.

In fact, my children excelled in ways I never expected. I see that spark when they learn a new concept, which is proof of learning. I spend more time with them and get to reinforce values and characteristics that are important to make them good humans and see them implement them when they meet new people or have new experiences. We’ve had so many adventures and they practice logical thinking and reasoning by making their own choices. Homeschooling is like a choose-your-own-adventure book in that way!

There is no such thing as a “real” homeschool.

This week, I helped my son build a magic potion out of flowers. He learned the name of each one. Check the box for science.

Two nights ago I snuggled up with my daughter as she showed me the medieval clothing she drew in her fashion design book. Check the box for art and history.

Imposter syndrome would tell me those experiences aren’t good enough. It would say that I was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and call it school.

Imposter syndrome is wrong.

Now, eight years later, I still have bouts of self-doubt, but they show up much less frequently. And when imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, here are four suggestions I have for you to send it packing:

1. Remind yourself why you’re homeschooling in the first place. At one point, you believed you could do something better for your child than any other learning option. Remind yourself what that reason is, and restore your self-confidence. Don’t let imposter syndrome tell you that you are wrong.

2. Break out of the box! Are you trying too hard to be the perfect teacher with a perfect classroom? Ditch all of that! Let your little ones jump around as they recite their multiplication tables, or draw letters in the sandbox, or learn about a new culture through a pen pal. Teach to your strengths, and bring back the fun!

3. Really look at those humans you are raising. Are they pretty awesome? Yeah… They all have their moments. They may not be easy to teach and only occasionally listen to you, but they are pretty awesome kids, and you had a hand in that. Well done.

4. The Joneses mean nothing. Just like social media, when you attend a homeschool gathering, co-op, or get-together, you can bet that you’re hearing and seeing the highlight reel. There’s nothing to compare, so don’t do it!

 

Your homeschool is yours. It’s right for your kids. You can do this. Don’t let imposter syndrome tell you anything else.