Isle of View
My grandparents are adorable.
Grandpa had a big smile and loved overalls, living a country life, and Boy Scouts of America.
Grandma was an archeologist that participated in numerous digs in South America and the
southern United States. She barely reached 5 feet tall and would stretch on her tippy toes and eventually had to climb onto a step stool to mark how tall each of her 60 grandchildren had gotten when we came to visit.
At some point in their love story, they coined the phrase, “Isle of View.”
I first heard it as a young child. Grandpa would be chopping wood and holler through the back door, “Hey, Margie, Isle of View!” Grandma would smile and wave at him, then continue baking cookies for her grandkids.
He’d write it on little notes and leave them around the house.
She’d spell it out using kitchen fridge magnets knowing he’d find it when he had his daily breakfast of wheat berries and milk.
As I grew up, I realized this was the way they said, “I love you.”
But, it wasn’t just I love you.
Sometimes it meant, “I’m proud of you.”
Sometimes it was, “Thank you.”
Sometimes it was, “I’m crazy about you.”
Sometimes it was, “I feel safe and happy with you.”
Those three little words express trust, commitment, 
and vulnerability.
Trust. Trust your spouse is there for you. That they are supporting you from a place of love. Promises are kept. And decisions are made with everybody’s best interest in mind.
Commitment. This means being in this life with your spouse, no matter what. Reminding yourself of the promises made on your wedding day. It’s about finding solutions and not walking away.
Vulnerability. We’re taught to be strong and resilient, but with your partner, you can show your real genuine self. Vulnerability is built on trust. And yes, it means sharing feelings with each other.
We moved this month. It is the final move in my spouse’s military career. It was an especially difficult move. It was physically and emotionally exhausting. It was the kind of moving experience where you have long and sometimes loud “discussions” with your partner. The kind of move where frustration and stress can sometimes get the best of us.
And then I pulled my grandmother’s portrait out of a box. It was what my grandfather left me in his will, because as a young adult, I took the picture of my grandmother that was putty tacked on his wall and had it reframed in a gorgeous carved wood frame. On the picture, my grandmother had written in her scrawling script, “So you’ll remember that Isle of View. — Marge”
Every relationship ebbs and flows with circumstances and situations. With PCS season upon us, it’s easy to forget to trust your spouse, remain committed to finding solutions, and to be vulnerable with each other.
It’s easy to raise your voice, argue over something, or nothing, or everything. I needed my grandmother’s inspiration this past week. I’ll need her inspiration again.
It’s in those moments I want to give up that I remember my sweet grandparents and the way they reminded each other every day, in small and big ways, to trust each other, stay committed, and be vulnerable.
All through three little words: Isle of View.
