Sharpening the Saw
Editor’s note: The following post originally appeared on the Army Wife Network Facebook page as a Milspouse Empowerment Moment. To watch the video, go here.
No, this isn’t about household tools.
We here at AWN cover a variety of topics, and today is one of my favorites. I read a lot of books, and one that was a classic for me in college, and still pretty popular among leadership gurus out there, is Seven Habits for Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. All of the habits build on one another, but the first six can’t be optimally successful without the seventh: That is, “Sharpening the Saw.”
Have you heard the story of the two woodcutters? If not, here goes:
Once upon a time, there were two woodcutters named Peter and John. One day, they decided to hold a competition to determine the winner. The rules were simple—whoever produced the most wood in a day won.
So the next day morning, both of them took up their positions in the forest and started chopping away in their fastest possible speed. This lasted for an hour before Peter suddenly stopped. When John realized that there was no chopping sound from his opponent’s side, he thought: “Aha! He must be tired already!” And he continued to cut down his trees with double the pace.
A quarter of an hour passed, and John heard his opponent chopping again. They both continued. John was starting to feel weary when the chopping from Peter stopped once again. Feeling motivated and smelling victory close by, John continued on, with a smile on his face.
This went on the whole day. Every hour, Peter would stop chopping for fifteen minutes while John kept going relentlessly. When the competition ended, John was absolutely confident that he would take the triumph.
But to John’s astonishment, Peter had actually cut down much more wood, and although Peter was tired, he wasn’t nearly as exhausted as John. “How could you have chopped down more trees than me? I heard you stop working every hour for fifteen minutes!” John exclaimed.
Peter replied, “Well, it’s really simple. Every time I stopped work, while you were still chopping down trees, I was sharpening my axe.”
Boom. Saw sharpened.
According to Dr. Covey, Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have—you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. I know that for me, I want to keep chop, chop, chopping away at my list or tasks before me, and if I don’t stop for a break every now and then, I end up like that first woodcutter: Exhausted and getting nowhere.
Sharpening the saw doesn’t only have to apply to our “task” lists but can also include things like problem solving (example: computer doesn’t work, I’m desperately trying to find something around the house). Sometimes the best thing I can do is to walk away for a bit, and later, an idea strikes my fresh brain as to how to fix a website glitch or where I put that very important copy of our latest orders. (This concept also applies to parenting—just don’t leave the kids unattended. They will find the olive oil and the flour… then you won’t be sharpening any saws, but instead mopping the floors—and the kids).
As I was reflecting this week, I wondered what that might look like when adapted to milspouse life. Many of us are busier than ever, especially as we continue to navigate the no-plan-plans brought on by COVID. I know from experience that it doesn’t take much for me to get completely engrossed in my tasks, and if someone (my husband) would metaphorically tell me to sharpen my saw, I would likely retort, “I can’t—I’m too busy sawing.”
With a dull blade, no doubt.
So in the spirit of the military, I created an acronym to help us think through each piece of the saw-sharpening process: Let’s take a BREAK to sharpen our saws.
B: Breathe. When I start to get bogged down, tired, or frustrated, I forget to breathe. I mean, not literally, because that would be really bad, but I forget to slow my pace and breathe. Sometimes, the best way I can sharpen my saw is to take a breather. That might be exactly what it sounds (taking some deep breaths), or it could be stepping away from my current task. Example: If I am working too long/hard at the computer, my brain starts to get a bit “gooey.” I might have other “tasks” on my list, so switching gears for a few minutes to rotate the laundry or peel the hard boiled eggs to make deviled eggs for the SFRG function that night gives me a surprising amount of renewal.
R: Rest. Closely related is rest. On average, most adults don’t get the amount of rest we should each night. Several years ago, my “one word” of the year was rest. It was one of my most challenging years, because I committed to taking a “power nap” almost daily for an entire year. In the past, I would have (finally) put my daughter down for her nap, then frantically started working on whatever tasks loomed. However, things changed that year. Now, I still take a power nap (usually 15-20 minutes) of laying down in the afternoon before diving back into my work/school work (On Sundays I take real naps!). This simple habit has changed the game for me.
E: Exercise. It might seem counterintuitive, but yes, exercising when we are “tired” is actually a great antidote to weariness. Sharpen your saw by taking a break from unpacking those PCS boxes, searching for your kid’s birth certificate, or checking emails to go for a walk or a run. If the gym is open in your neighborhood, even better. I believe that those feel-good endorphins not only clear your mind, but they get your body pumped up to jump back into your tasks/calling.
A: Ask a friend. Think battle buddies. When we start feeling weary or that our saw blade is dull, spending some time (whether that’s URL or IRL) with a friend or another human can make all the difference—especially for us extroverts. Introverts can benefit, too—because even some one-on-one time with a good friend can reset our perspective and give us the energy (sharpness) we need to do this milspouse thing.
K: Kick back and have a little fun. It’s kind of ironic that, while I like to make jokes on here and share funny memes/puns on social media, I actually have to work at having fun. I grew up in a household of very hard workers—honestly, our family is probably known for our work ethic—but sometimes, that goes too far and I get too serious, especially when there’s still things to do. As my wise aunt and uncle told me when they were visiting from Alaska (this is a pair of folks who lives by the philosophy “Work hard, play hard”), our “to-do lists” will never be completely done—so why not celebrate and have fun while we are at it? Just last week, my MIL had us come out to the yard for s’mores around the fire pit—even though we were already in our PJs. I took the advice of Jolene from our MEM a couple weeks ago and created a summer bucket list, COVID style. Sharpen your saw by kicking back and have some fun! (Umbrella drink optional, but occasionally recommended.)
“Renewal is the principle—and the process—that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.” —Stephen Covey
Isn’t it great that Dr. Covey uses the word empowered in the definition of renewal? That is our primary mission here at AWN—to empower you to do what you are called to do as military spouses. Sometimes that empowerment might look like reading one of our blogs, listening to a podcast, going for a walk with a battle buddy, or hey, taking a nap.
Ultimately, we all need to take a BREAK and sharpen the saw: Breathe, rest, exercise, ask a friend, and kick back to have a little fun.
