It’s Not as Easy as I Thought it Would Be

I know. When you read that title, you probably thought, “me, too!” You did, didn’t you? It’s not as easy as I thought it would be, either.

The funny thing is, you didn’t know what I’d be writing about, and in the end, it doesn’t really matter. It could be anything in life, because when changes come—even when we think we’re prepared for them—it’s never quite what you think it’s going to be, and you have to learn how to adapt and overcome.

That’s where I am right now; I’m trying to figure out how to use all of the lessons that I’ve learned in the past 17 years as a soldier, then as a military spouse, to adapt to my changing life and embrace the unexpected.

Some days (and minutes, and hours) are easier than others. Some seem downright impossible, but of course they aren’t. Nothing is really impossible, especially when you know your resources and have a support system.

That’s why what we do at Army Wife Network is so important. We’re not a bunch of suit-wearing executive types (or even suit-wearing types for the most part), sitting in our pretty little offices, writing articles about how “the best way to help is to help yourself.”

Bah. Please, someone slap me if I become that person.

We’re just… well, we’re you.

We have new spouses, experienced ones, spouses married to officer and enlisted service members, a couple of military veterans. Some of us have jobs, and some of us are going to school. Some have little kids, and some have grown children.

What we all have are lives.

My life was supposed to get easier when my spouse retired from the military. Right?

Yeah, no.

The first thing? Jobs aren’t always that easy to come by, even if you’re a veteran and even if you have mad skills. And even when you’re not strapped for cash (thank you, Dave Ramsey and our local unit ministry team), you sometimes need a job, if for no other reason than that you’ll kill each other with togetherness if there’s too much of it.

Trust me, too much of a good thing can really be too much.

Another thing? Even if you chose the most beautiful place in the universe to retire in, it doesn’t mean that your “last home ever” will really be the last move.

And while moving outside the military is so much harder, we’re still better at it and know how to go about it in a more targeted and organized fashion than your average non-military family. S

o, yeah, you guessed it—we’re moving again.

Oh, and separation? Yeah, we’re old pros at it.

And I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

Even after years in the military, with all of the experience and practice? It still sucks.

Hubby already has a new job, but unfortunately (at least for a while), it requires him to be on the road for long periods of time. We’ll work through it, of course—that’s what we do—but that doesn’t mean it’s magically easier.

And it’s okay to feel that, whether it’s due to deployment (both hubby and I did our fair share of those!), training, TDY, or a civilian job.

Thankfully, because of Army Wife Network and our amazing, creative, and supportive followers, I have resources and a network. Even as a retiree family, I know we’re not alone.

And that’s a really big thing.

Grab your battle buddy, milspouses, and never let her go. Our chosen family is worth more than its weight in gold.