Making New Friends Isn’t Easy
We’ve been at our new duty station for a little more than a month now, and making new friends has been hard.
I think one of the most difficult things about moving is meeting new people. I used to think I was pretty outgoing, but now that I’m getting older, I realize that I’m actually the opposite.
I am more introverted than I first thought.
Making friends is difficult for me, but I’m at the point where, as much as I love my family, I need some girl time. In order to have girl time, this means having to meet people. Walking up to a person, shaking their hand, and introducing myself is just not in my nature. I’m more of a hide-behind-my-husband’s-back-and-hope-someone-doesn’t-talk-to-me kind of person, and if someone walks up to me I have no clue what to say beyond, “hi, how are you? My name is Jess,” I go blank after that.
It’s pretty awkward standing there looking at a person you met for the first time in silence. They probably walk away thinking I’m either a jerk or a moron, but I promise, I’m not. I’m just shy!
Heck, if it wasn’t for my husband I probably wouldn’t have had any friends at our last duty station.
Ouch, that hurts to admit, but yes, I am the person who’s husband makes her friends.
Talk about pathetic.
Which brings me to my point for this post.
Putting myself out there is the only way I will meet new people. I need to suck it up, put my big girl panties on, and just do it. Maybe by following these ideas I have come up with, it will help me follow through with making friends. Maybe you are a fellow introvert, and they can help you, too!
Can’t hurt for us to try, right? I can already feel my palms sweating and my mind going blank at attempting a conversation with a new person.
So, here it is, my plan to get myself out there and make some friends:
1. Meet the neighbors.
Usually when I spot a neighbor while I’m outside, I’ll lower my head and act like they’re invisible, but my new goal plan is to wave, walk over, and introduce myself. Maybe if I’m feeling brave, I’ll even strike up a conversation or even invite them over for a game night. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
2. Attend unit functions.
At my husband’s last unit, I could count on one hand (okay, three fingers to be exact) the amount of events that we attended. With his new unit, I would like to become more active, attend some of the functions, and maybe even volunteer at a few. This would be a great way to meet the spouses of the service members my husband works with.
3. Join the playgroups.
On most installations (if not all) there are weekly playgroups to take younger children to. They are usually hosted at the gym or a playground. I think attending these would not only be a way for me to make other mom friends but also a great way for my children to make friends, too. They would be able to run around and play while I enjoy some adult conversation. I mean, I love my kids, but there is only so much you can talk to them about.
4. Find a book club (or any group that shares a hobby you love to do).
One of my favorite things to do is get lost in a good book. This might be why I have a difficult time making friends. I’d rather be spending my free time reading about fictional characters than attempting to meet real people. What can I say? I’m a nerd. I think it would be neat to join a book club and talk to other people about something we all love to do. Also, I think there is wine at book clubs, and everyone knows books and wine go perfectly together. Throw in some friends, and it’s a party!
Maybe now that I have it out there for all the world to see I will actually do some of the things on this list. Hopefully on my next post I can update you and let you know I have made at least one friend! If anyone has any tips on meeting new people I’d love to know. As long as it doesn’t involve my husband making friends for me again, I’m open to suggestions!
How do you put yourself out there to meet new people?
