News 6 Report: Ways to Help Your Marriage and Careers Thrive
Army.com recently reported on a dual-military couple, Lt. Gen. James Richardson and Lt. Gen. Laura Richardson, who have overcome challenges in a unique dual-serving status.
James and Laura Richardson have been married for 33 years. Laura is the first female general to ever command U.S. Army North. Both Laura and her husband, James, have risen to the rank of Lieutenant General. A feat not easy with separations due to deployments and duty assignments.
“I would not be where I am today without being married to her,” said James, a master Army aviator. “It’s Team Richardson, it really is. And that’s how you have to operate . . . It’s not about me. It’s not about her. It’s about the team. And that’s how we got through. We’ve communicated. We’ve helped each other in our careers as we’ve moved up.”
Being a dual-military family is not without its challenges, including the possibility of being assigned to separate duty stations.
Capt. Meg Fillinger and her husband of six years, Capt. Andrew Durkee, met during their Basic Officer Leadership Course at Fort Sam Houston. Both were between their first and second years in medical school when they met.
“It was a serious conversation we probably had way sooner than most would have it, like in the first month of dating, because we knew that, for the next eight to ten years minimum, we both would be committed to the Army,” said Fillinger. “It would be an additional challenge to our relationship, but for us, the benefit of having each other far outweighed any potential challenges.”
Both Fillinger and the Richardsons shared that there are some benefits to serving with your spouse. Having a spouse who understands what you’re working on or going through is a perk that’s helped strengthen their marriage and careers.
“[One benefit is] having a spouse who ‘speaks the language’ and has literally been at my side through some of the more frustrating moments of Army training and policy,” said Fillinger. She added that, “field training and eating MREs in the rain for every meal is all of a sudden not so bad when I get to eat them next to my husband. We stress and prep for the PT test together, and I can talk about work tasks without explaining everything.”
Fillinger offered a few pieces of advice for couples facing dual military service. She shared the following tips:
First, enroll in the Married Army Couples Program. Being enrolled is not a guarantee for staying at duty stations together, but it helps and also lets leadership know of your situation. Learn more about MCAP here.
She also stressed the importance of making your dual status known to your unit or branch managers.
“This can help identify you to other dual spouses who can be resources. I cannot stress enough the importance of engaging your unit or branch managers early and often,” she said.
Fillinger also encouraged taking advantage of Military Family Life Counselors and the other resources for couples and families that the military provides.
“I would absolutely choose this route again! I entered the military prior to meeting my spouse because I wanted to serve my country by taking care of its soldiers and family,” said Fillinger. “The fact that I am doing this with my best friend who is also wearing the same uniform and took the same oath is something I never imagined, but at the same time now can’t picture doing it without him.”
