No. More. Whining.

Whining is not advocacy.

“Liking” a Facebook post does not make us activists. Even if we are passionate. Especially if we are misguided.

Strengthening a community takes more than spouting half truths or three-year-old stories and statistics. It takes savvy. It takes grace. It takes accuracy and open mindedness.

Bottom line? Advocacy takes work.

Real work.

It is not for everyone. But for those that choose to take on an issue or to activate a community, know that we as a community have high expectations. We aren’t here to glorify 15 minutes of fame for someone who didn’t deserve the first 30 seconds.

Our community? This military life community? We deserve honest, true, timely, and dedicated action.

Look, it’s kind of like picking friends. You like some people you know because they’re great at a party, some you love to shop with, some you’d trust with your children’s safety and well-being should that be necessary.

Who we choose as our advocates and activists is a lot like choosing friends. And I have to be honest—I feel like we aren’t being picky enough. I feel like there are so many organizations and people and loud voices claiming and feigning to represent us: our best interests, our future well-being as military families. I feel like we blindly trust those voices and those people when we shouldn’t.

Now, my background is in military community relations. I feel like I am more sensitive to the crap that is being spread around being purported as “our” opinion and as “the” answer to the plethora of complicated issues facing us as military families. But, in my sensitivity, I am also wondering how others are reacting to the barrage of petty, incorrect, misrepresented, salacious content being thrown all over print and the internet about who “we” are.

I don’t care about most of it.

The “breaking news” to get clicks on Facebook? Crap.

The attention desperate bloggers divulging dirty laundry to be seen as victims of this life when they are, in reality, their very own worst enemies and their situations have nothing to do with our military community? Crap.

I don’t care.

But what I do care about is those same pieces gaining enough attention to blur the lines of fact versus fiction, of drama versus what we really need to be focusing on.

That is infuriating.

These “advocates” are taking us, as community members, for granted. They are dumbing us down. They are making us seem as lazy and ill-informed as they are, and I have had enough.

We are heading back into the fray, my friends. Back into the storm that was just starting to settle.

I don’t care whether you want to be called a spouse or a wife.

I don’t care if you shop at the commissary or not.

I don’t care if you think pot should be legal to military personnel or not.

I care about those big issues that are seemingly being ignored or trumped by the stupid crap that gets clicks.

I care about suicide prevention.

I care about family readiness and independent success.

I care about our families being able to support themselves.

I care about guiding us all to the same page with true and pertinent information in a timely manner, devoid of bias, misinformation, and opinion.

I care about us all telling our stories with grace.

I care about keeping the dirty laundry in the laundry basket to make room for the strong and dedicated in this life to move us forward.

I care deeply about this community, and I am tired of being disappointed.

We need to hold those loud, lazy voices accountable for what we really need in our advocates and activists: Truth, honor, work, and progress.