This is Me
When I was initially asked if I would consider being a contributor for AWN, I thought, “What could I possibly offer that could inspire and excite readers?” I’m just a normal military spouse pushing through each day, many times solo, with overwhelming obligations and responsibilities. I’m just like everyone else, but maybe that’s where I can connect with the readers. This is me.
My name is Renee McLaughlin. I’m originally from central New York, the Syracuse area, but currently live in Hohenfels, Germany. I’ve been a military spouse for just over ten years now. My husband, Sean, and I have four children—Aaron (6), Spencer (19 months), Lauralee (19 months), and Isla (19 months).
No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you—my youngest three children are triplets and have been one of the most beautiful and trying blessings that have entered my life. I’ll get to all that later on!
My husband and I first met back in 2008 while he was stationed at Fort Drum, New York. We began dating in August, got engaged in December, and married in June the following year. So, in less than a year, we went from total strangers to love-at-first-sight newlyweds. Only months after we said our vows, Sean was getting ready for his first deployment. In October, he left for Iraq, and I had to learn how to continue life back home as normally as possible.
The next five years of our marriage is a blur of reconnecting, hardships, moving, medical issues, potential divorce, and for good measure, throwing in the birth of our son, Aaron.
When Sean came back from deployment, he was not the Sean who left.
Even knowing he would be changed did not prepare me for the emotional rollercoaster that was to come. We both made bad choices that could have easily ended any relationship, but luckily, we woke up in time to save the family we tried and waited for years to have together. We decided to roll up our sleeves, dig in, and work for not only our marriage, but to become better individuals.
During that time, we moved from Fort Drum to Fort Hood, Texas. That place will forever hold a bittersweet feeling in my heart. So much sorrow and heartache, but it’s where I was forced to begin the journey of growing into the person, parent, and spouse I always wanted to become.
In 2016, we moved to Hohenfels, Germany.
A move that both excited and terrified me. I knew nothing of the culture, language, or customs, and moving with our 3-year-old son to a place that seemed as far away as another planet was a bit overwhelming. However, I’m not one to get bogged down with negativity, but maintain an intense desire to make the most out of any situation.
This community here, both on post as well as on the economy, has been the best for us—hands down! Medically speaking, Germany has been exactly what both my husband and I needed.
I struggled for years after Aaron to have another child. Doctors would always say, “You’re young, it will happen, just be patient.” Well, that didn’t work for me.
Shortly after settling into life in Germany, I reached out and saw an infertility specialist. Due to multiple procedures to remove precancerous cells from my cervix, they needed to put me under to see if my fallopian tubes were clear and functioning properly. It was beyond devastating to wake up from the procedure to hear that not only were both of my fallopian tubes blocked, but blocked past the point of repair from endometriosis that was also covering my ovaries and uterus. I would never again be able to have a natural pregnancy. My heart sank, and a feeling of grief I never knew began to develop inside.
My desire to have another child never diminished, so we looked into adoption and infertility options. Adoption was so far beyond our financial abilities while living overseas, but surprisingly enough, IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) was within our capabilities.
It took only a month for us to become pregnant with not one, not two, but three little blessings.
Aaron cried happy tears when we told him he was going to be a brother three times over.
The pregnancy was rough, full of severe sickness and dehydration. However, on March 7, 2018, the McLaughlin triplets arrived, and after only 18 days in the NICU, they were able to come home. Sean, unfortunately, was not able to be there for their birth. He came home from training in the states the day after the babies were released from the NICU.
Our life since then has been a whirlwind of emotions and daily adventures.
I thought I was strong and resilient before, but those three helped me rediscover, beyond measure, my full potential. I actively help other women with education on infertility options in Germany, as well as support and encourage new mothers who are just a bit overwhelmed by having a child in a foreign country.
I volunteer as the SFRG treasurer, with Aaron’s AWANA (bible study group), and now run my own business as a personal life coach for health and fitness. With all my mounting responsibilities I work harder than I ever have before because my children and my husband have given me the love and support to become the Renee I always knew I could be.
Military life is a far different life than most get to experience, but if given a chance and an open mind and heart, it can lead you to become the strongest, most driven, most motivated, and most powerful individual!
