Pandemic PCSing

Sometimes it is hard to believe that we are already this far into a pandemic. I never imagined that’s what 2020 would look like. And frankly, I’m pretty ready for this year to end. Sometimes I find it difficult to imagine how life has to keep moving forward even though it feels like everything must be put on hold.

My husband is currently at recruiting school, and we are planning to move before the year is over. (We were supposed to move in June, but the stop order put that to an end.) He hasn’t been there long, so I am still waiting to find out where we are moving to.

I find my anxiety about this pandemic topped with the anxiety about moving is at times overwhelming. This move is so different than any one we have done in the last 15 years. I have two small kids; we’re all in EFMP. I’m sure I will have to make sure I can find the doctors and therapists needed on my own, without the usual help of an MTF nearby.

It’s unlikely we will live on or near a base, so I will have to find housing, hope that we have enough space, and make sure the school district we are near will be able to meet the needs my kids will have.

Learning a new city, and figuring it all out all over again. This is one time I feel I am nowhere near prepared to move. 

I know everything is about to change again. This year has felt like too much change already, and too much uncertainty. It’s not just that it will change, but that this is another chapter in life. And this is another defining moment in our lives. It could change the trajectory of so many things, and it all feels so scary at times. The vital piece of information about the location we will be living in is what is missing in this equation.

But even when I learn it, will it quell the anxiety or fan the flames of fear?

Will I be able to fill any sense of peace in the decisions being made for us, rather than one we have some kind of input in? In the past, we have always been able to have some kind of say in the next PCS, and this one feels much different. EFMP will certainly give us some kind of help, but maybe it won’t. I have heard some horror stories of EFMP families being told services were available at their gaining station, only for them to learn they weren’t after moving. Then being forced to move again within six months if they are lucky enough to get a new assignment. 

The needs my kids and myself have are thankfully not very medically complex, but at the same time, I wonder if they will be met the way I expect them to be? Will the new school setting meet the expectations I have right now? Will our new location make me feel as safe as I feel now, or make me feel like I’m wandering into uncharted territory? 

It’s been nearly a decade since I have lived outside of a military installation, and truthfully, most of us who have lived in our fenced in community surely feel a false sense of security. I don’t always have to lock my car doors. I used to leave my front door unlocked and not worry that someone might break in. 

I feel much less excitement for this move than I have for any other. The pandemic, not knowing where we are moving to, and taking my children away from their therapies and a school I really love and know will support their needs is stressful, a little scary. But, as with most things the military has thrown my way these last 15 years, I hope that I will find that resilience with time, find the positives of recruiting, and do the best we can with this assignment. 

Have you had to PCS during the pandemic? How has moving this year been different than other PCSes? Sound off in the comments below!