Sam Says “See You Later”: Chapter 2

Editor’s Note: Before you read “Chapter 2,” get caught up on the previous part of the story. 

 

Sam sat anxiously on the gym floor trying to disguise what she was feeling inside. She was nervous, she was tired, and she was slightly resentful. She felt like things were slipping away. Usually, the squeak of shoes on a wood floor, the sharp burst of a whistle, and the heavy, commanding voice of a coach made her feel at home.

But something had changed in Sam this week. 

This place did not feel like home. In spite of the unpacking, the decorating, and forced optimism… Sam couldn’t seem to adapt to this new place.  Her new school was huge compared to her little haven on Fort Knox. The girls trying out for the volleyball team with her were better than anyone she played with last year. 

As a junior, Sam feared she would be cut. Coaches tend to want to spend more time developing a younger player with potential; and speaking of potential, not much potential for friendships so far. Sam spent most of her time texting and Face Timing her old teammates and friends. She thought that this tryout week might produce a friendship or two, but everyone seemed too focused and competitive.

Coach Malloy’s booming voice jolted her out of her self pity.

“Listen up ladies! This is by far the most talent we have seen during zero week in a long time. UNFORTUNATELY, for some of you, we are only able to take five from this week of tryouts.”

Sam’s stomach began to sink. There were 33 girls here.

“We are holding two spots for military connected students who couldn’t make zero week. We are obligated to give them a fair tryout when they get here.”

Sam looked around at the other girls. If they were upset by this news, no one let it show, but Sam wondered if anyone was as panicked as she was on the inside.

“I will post the team lists for JV and Varsity on the School’s Athletic portal. There will also be three alternates listed. Those three alternates will retry out with the two late arrivals on August 11th. 

Sam’s spirits started to rise just a bit when she heard there might be a second chance

“If your name is on the alternate list, send me an email within 24 hours to accept or reject the second tryout. OK, that’s it. Bring it in ladies.”

Sam scrambled to her feet and placed her hand in the sweaty circle, careful not to make eye contact with anyone.

“Heads up ladies. You left it all on the court and that is all we are expected to do in life. Roos on three. 1… 2… 3!”

***********************************

Sam waited outside the school in the Texas heat exhausted, sweaty, and defeated. She was already dreading the positive spin her mom would put on things.  Her mom was a bit too “cheerleader” these days. Sam really needed her to take it down a notch.

“ Hey 27,” said an unfamiliar voice from behind her. 

Sam turned around in confusion until she realized she was still wearing her tryout number on her T-shirt. Standing behind her was a short girl with muscular legs and a purple streak down the left side other brown hair. 

“ Are you new here? I’m Lou, short for Lucille…. I know it’s an old person’s name, but my parents are weird.” 

Sam laughed in spite of her exhaustion. “Yeah, we moved here from Kentucky last week.”

“You nervous about making the team?” Lou asked cautiously.

Sam looked at her feet. She wanted to cry, but instead she shrugged and heard herself saying, “It is what it is. I was not prepared for the level they play at here.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Lou replied. “This is my 3rd year trying out and I haven’t made the team yet!” Lou said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Sam looked at her in disbelief, “Why on earth do you keep coming back?”

Lou laughed, “Mostly to piss off Coach Malloy. She has been my English teacher for the past two years and she is always preaching to us in class that ‘You miss 100% of the shots you never take.’ Some hockey player said it.”

“Wayne Gretzky,” Sam said automatically. “ My dad is a hockey nut.”

Lou grinned back, and in that simple exchange of sentences, Sam made her first new friend.

“Listen Sam, if you don’t make it, don’t be too upset. There is so much to be involved in around here. Not sure if you are into theatre, but Fall auditions start next week. Give me your phone.”

Sam handed over her phone and watched gratefully as Lou added her phone number and handed Sam’s phone back to her.

“Text me after the list is posted, we can celebrate or commiserate together.”

Sam was disappointed to see her mom’s truck turning into the parking lot.

“Thanks Lou. I will text you no matter what. Good luck — maybe this will be your year!” She realized with dread that she sounded a little bit like her mom.

Lou just smiled and said, “No matter what, it is all gravy, Sam.”

Sam found herself smiling for the first time in weeks as she climbed into the truck. Her mom eyed her cautiously. Things had been tense between them lately. Mrs. Murphy had the PCS guilt that many military moms wore on their hearts. She straddled the line of supportive and overly enthusiastic and wanted to be sure which side to stand on. 

Seeing her daughter get into the truck with what could be described as an actual smile gave her the confidence to ask what she had been wondering all day.

“Well… How did it go?”

Sam took a deep breath before she answered. “It was hard. There were 33 of us and Coach only has five spots to fill. The list will be posted after 1800  tonight.”

Sam’s attempt to give her all the information up front to minimize questions only resulted in the question she feared most.

“How do you think you did?”

Sam sighed. She needed to say it out loud and she hoped her mom could take it.

“I will be lucky to make the alternate list. These girls are good, Mom. I mean really good. The JV girls here could beat my Varsity squad back at Knox.”

Mrs. Murphy paused before responding, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

“So is the coach leaving open spots for late transfers?”

Sam, relieved that her mom didn’t dwell on her earlier response, answered quickly, 

“Yes, she saved two open spots and there will be three alternates to get an extra tryout with those girls.”

Mrs. Murphy took a minute to carefully phrase her next question. “So… If you make the alternate list, do you think you will tryout again?”

Sam looked out the window in silent response. She hadn’t made her mind up yet because deep down she really felt that even making the alternate list was a long shot. She knew her mom was expecting an answer.

“Not sure yet, Mom.” 

Mrs. Murphy knew it was time to change the subject.

“Since we are officially Texans now, how about we hit Whataburger on the way home”?

Sam smiled, not because she was particularly happy, but because she wanted to give her mom something for her efforts.

“That sounds amazing.”

********************************************

Sam spent the rest of the afternoon  trying to keep her mind off the list. She kept herself distracted until the siren call of Instagram got the better of her. She scrolled rapidly until she came across a picture of Marcus with his head thrown back laughing.

She had trouble catching her breath as her heart shattered all over again. It was obvious that someone who had feelings for him had taken that picture and she wasn’t sure what irritated her more, the girl who took it or the fact that he posted it. 

She waited until almost 18:20 to log on and look at the list. She wasn’t sure how she felt or what she wanted, but finally she clicked on the link.

She scanned the JV list first. No juniors ever made JV, but just in case…. No luck.

Sam clicked on the Varsity link next and she wasn’t on that list either.

Finally, she clicked on the Alternates link, and there in the middle of the three was her name. Instead of relief, Sam felt even worse.

She began to think it would be easier if her name had not appeared at all. Now she was faced with the choice to go through the whole process all over again or just move on.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at her door. Sam fought back the irritation that was rising. She wanted this moment to be over with.

“Come in.”

Her mom took a quick look at her before asking. “Well?”

“Alternate List,” Sam said with a shrug.

Mrs. Murphy found herself once again straddling that same line as earlier: Sympathetic or encouraging?

“So you still have a chance, Sam.”

Sam couldn’t help herself, “Sure Mom. As long as the other two girls suck less than me.”

Mrs. Murphy paused, not wanting to upset her further. 

“I have 24 hours to let coach know if I want the second tryout, I will email her later tonight. I just need to think Mom, do you mind?”

Mrs. Murphy crossed the room and kissed Sam lightly on the top of head. “Just sleep on it Sam.” Don’t make the decision until you have to. Love you”

After she left, Sam realized that she hadn’t even checked for Lou’s name on any of the lists. She quickly logged back in and scanned all three links. No Lou (or Lucille) anywhere to be found. 

Sam couldn’t help but wonder about Lou. Why did she come back every year to try out? Why couldn’t she be more like Lou, not take no for an answer.

Why did she feel so defeated instead of determined like Lou was? Maybe it was time to let go and try something new. Maybe not making the team outright gave her permission to let go and try something else. 

She grabbed her phone and scrolled until she found “Lou, New BFF in Texas”. She laughed out loud at what Lou had typed into her phone.

Sam: “Hey. What time do Fall auditions start on Monday?”

Lou: “Hey. 9:30, are you giving up the alternate spot?”

Sam hesitated before responding. She didn’t really know Lou, but somehow she knew that Lou would be glad if she gave up her spot.

Sam:  “Yeah. I don’t want to waste any more time on this. Do you think I am making a mistake?”

Lou:  “I think if you feel good about your decision, then it is not a mistake. There are many other roads to travel your junior and senior year!”

Sam:  “Thanks, I took my shot and I think it is time to take another. Not sure if I will be good at theatre, but I will be there on Monday. Thanks for the encouragement!”

Lou:  “No problem, I am happy to be your Wayne Gretzky!”

Sam smiled as she put the phone down and opened up her email on her laptop.