Tackling My To-Do List: While Solo Parenting

Being a military spouse is hard work. Especially when solo parenting. Whether it’s a TDY, deployment, long workday, or scheduled training, being without help is difficult. Here are a few ways I tackle my to-do list when my other half is unavailable.

1. Starting my day

I keep a bottle of water on my nightstand to stay hydrated throughout the night. When I wake up for the day I guzzle water. I also use this time to center my breathing and to focus my mind on the tasks that are awaiting me during the day.  After hygiene, a bit of checking emails, and home administration, I gather the children and help them with their morning routine. To avoid chaos, I keep breakfast simple and allow the kids to decide what they will eat for the first meal of the day.

2. Errands and Appointments

The hardest aspect of tackling my to-do list while solo parenting is attempting to be in multiple places at once.  Since we are new to the area, I cannot yet enlist the help of a friend or parent. However, I have been enjoying grocery pick-up and delivery services. Scheduling a convenient time to get groceries delivered to my home has been such a time saver. I no longer have to wander the aisles of Target with a basket full of groceries and three fussy children.

To combat the dilemma of appointments, I inform the business of my situation. Typically, I can bring my children with no consequence. Oftentimes, I am scheduled first thing in the morning or as the last client of the day. It is such a relief knowing that I can accomplish my to-do list without having to go months without professional care when needed. To keep the kids occupied when I am being treated, I bring coloring pages, books, and tablets.

3. Meal Time

Preparing meals is a task that I scramble to accomplish.  Ironically, my kids only like a small variety of foods. I like meal prepping breakfast foods on the weekends: eggs, oatmeal, and granola are fan favorites in my home. I will grab a rotisserie chicken to use for multiple meals throughout the week, including chicken quesadillas, salads, nachos, and BBQ sandwiches. We also have our fair share of takeout due to our busy schedule. We enjoy sandwiches, burgers, and sushi depending on the weeknight.

4. Ask for Help

If I could tell my younger self something, it would be to ask for help. I have always had the misconception that I must do everything myself. However, I soon learned that attempting to accomplish things without the help of anyone quickly sent me into a downward spiral. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, and lawn work all seem to pile up when Brandon is out of town. In the past, I have hired sitters to watch the children while I deep clean the bathrooms, fold laundry, and prep meals. Delegating duties around the home has improved my overall solo parenting home routine. The kids have designated laundry days and will bring their items to the laundry room. Folding and putting away laundry is a task that takes me a couple of days to accomplish. I don’t seek perfection; I strive for good enough.

5. Nighttime

Once dinner is done and hygiene is accomplished, the kids will either watch a prerecorded bedtime story from Brandon, Facetime, or even have a dance party. This 15–20-minute break allows me to tidy the kitchen or to feed the baby before bedtime. While the kids are in bed, I dash to tie up a few loose ends around the house and get to bed.

6. Life Unscripted

During long absences, the kids and I will use the opportunity to travel. We will visit friends and family.  A lot of businesses offer military discounts to spouses and veterans. I usually request a hotel room equipped with a Pack-N-Play. The kids and I sightsee, swim, and make memories together.

Tackling a to-do list while solo parenting doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Remembering to slow down and to take a break if need be. There will always be laundry to do, kitchens to clean, and bathrooms to scrub. Having a family picnic in the living room on a Friday night, eating ice cream while Facetiming Brandon, and going to the playground with the babysitter are all ways I tackle my to-do list while solo parenting.