To Anyone Who Wants a Baby for Christmas

I see you. I’ve been the girl who wants a baby for Christmas. And it sucks.

It would be nice if you wanted something that could be put on a list and bought at a store. I wish it was that easy. Unfortunately, it isn’t, and it’s emotional.

I want you to know that it’s okay to feel sad. You know that you’re not getting the one true thing that you want. And that’s heartbreaking.

It’s okay to feel jealous or angry. People who aren’t even trying to get pregnant end up pregnant. We’re all human, and we can feel two conflicting feelings at once. You’re happy for those you know who get pregnant.

But it’s that first twinge when you find out—Why not me?

Honestly, it’s okay to feel whatever emotions come up. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Take some time during the holidays to feel all of your emotions.

Sneak off for a quiet moment to yourself. Or have a vulnerable moment with your spouse or family member. And simply let your emotions out.

Just don’t take too much time. The holidays are a time to spend with family. And hopefully, you’re able to do just that this holiday.

Maybe you have friends or family that have kids. Take in all those baby cuddles and toddler giggles.  Enjoy those kids that you love like your own.

Spoil the crap out of those kids. Relish in the fact that you can give your niece or nephew that big cup of cocoa and not have to deal with the consequences. Be the fun aunt or uncle.

Or maybe you can go shopping for a baby for Christmas and donate what you buy. There’s plenty of families in need. You can find a family and make their Christmas special.

Allow yourself to daydream. Hopefully, one day it won’t be just a dream. Buy the cute outfit that may only get worn once. Go ahead and splurge.

I remember holidays before we had our son. I vividly remember going to Lapland, Finland, back in 2018. We actually saw two Santa’s that day. You better believe I asked them both for a baby. One just smiled and looked away. The other looked nervous that he might actually have to explain biology to me.

That brought a smile to my face—the first time I’ve made Santa nervous.

I’d love to tell you that if you go to Santa’s Village in Lapland and ask for a baby, you’ll get one. Unfortunately, life is a little more messy than that.

I simply hope that you find love and happiness in your life. Because I’m still the girl who wants another baby for Christmas.

But I’m also happy.