Best Compliment Ever: The Ultimate Battle Buddy

As a military spouse, I am a compliment-soaker-upper. No, I don’t mean from the random passersby who give awkward backward compliments of “You’re so strong. I don’t know how you do it.”

I’m talking about soaking up compliments from my husband, so I can stockpile them in my brain/heart for when he’s away doing stuff for his Army job.

But here’s the kicker: My husband is an infantryman. And although he doesn’t mean to, sometimes it’s kind of hard for him to tap into his emotional side, dig deep, and dole out the compliments to his lovely-yet-sometimes-frustrating-wife. Because, let’s be honest, occasionally our partner’s best compliments sound, well, like they’re coming from service member directed to service members.

“Supper was okay today. Can I have more ranch/siracha sauce/pepper?”

“Thanks for picking up the house today.” (As more military gear/TA-50 hits the living room floor upon walking in the house.)

And, my current personal favorite after returning from a couple weeks away, in reference to my pregnant, ever-growing belly: “Wow, babe! You’ve gotten so big!”

Um… Thank you?

In all honesty, my Beloved tries to compliment me in a way that I can receive it gracefully and fill up my emotional piggy bank. Things like, “You’re a great wife and mother,” and “Supper really was delicious. Thanks for cooking.”

But the other day, I realized that my absolute, most favorite compliment of all time from my partner was actually a hybrid of the two extremes—a unique combo of “What-Wifey-wants-to-hear” and his born-to-be-a-soldier heart.

It was late in the evening. Our daughter was allegedly snuggled into bed, and hubs and I were trying to talk about something other than family logistics (something other than military schedule, school events, how many time-outs our Tiny Human received that day, Battalion mandatory fun coming up, etc.)

So naturally, we landed on the topic of marriage—more specifically, our relationship. We’ve learned in the last several years that a solid marriage, especially in the military, requires intentionality. We try to talk about our hearts, the level of love and respect in our home, and resolve the small conflicts before they blossom into something bigger.

We started talking about how to compliment one another. Suddenly, as I’m blubbering on about who knows what, the Emotion Train leaves the station (Thanks a bunch, preggo hormones). I told him that I just realized the greatest compliment he has ever given me often happens in public in front of his peers.

Every time he’s been promoted, received an award, or done the “farewell” for our PCS, my husband always thanks me for my support.

And calls me his “Ultimate Battle Buddy.”

I will pause right there so you can go grab a Kleenex. (Oh, that’s just me? My bad.)

When conflict comes in marriage, I often lose sight of the truth that my dear husband is not the enemy. Regardless, if our struggle is about the challenges of military life, parenting, or communication, ultimately we must remember that we and our spouses are on the same team.

We are fighting this good fight of marriage together, in it to win it, paired together for a purpose. I’ve witnessed how “going to war” with another individual creates this unique heart-bond among service members. And while I will never fully understand all the pieces and parts of that, I can get a little taste of it in marriage.

Because after all, I get to do life every single day with my Ultimate Battle Buddy—that is, my husband.

Dear readers: What is your response to the thought that your spouse is your Battle Buddy (and vice versa?) What is the best compliment they have ever given you? Feel free to leave a comment below.