When All is Said and Done…

When all is said and done, you have to be okay with what you built for yourself.

When the orders stop coming & the zip codes stop changing, the foundation you built for yourself and your family during this time of service is all that matters.

When it comes time to stop, reflect, and look back, what do YOU want to see?

If you are a milspouse in this day and age, it may feel like you can’t keep up with what other milspouses are doing. You may be asking yourself all the questions.

Where is my career?

Where is my perfect homeschool setting?

Where is my “brand?”

Where is my 1:1 match or dream duty station?

Where is my tribe?

Where is my sanity ?

 It can be exhausting!

So on this day, this month, and maybe even this year, take a time out from trying to be all the things. Take a step back into life before you were flooded with images and challenges to keep up with.

Take inventory of what is important to YOU, to your family, and to your community.

This military life will be over one day and as your soldier puts their newly minted DD214 away, and the retirement party guests have gone home, you have to be okay with the life you built as a dependent to an active-duty military member. Yes, I used the word DEPENDENT because the Military has not come up with a less cringeworthy word yet. 

We lost two great leaders in the past year, General (Ret) Ray Odierno and  General (Ret) Colin Powell.  In both of their powerful retirement speeches, they talked about the soldiers they served with and the missions that shaped them. However, the most important portions of their speeches were dedicated to their SPOUSES!

During  General Odierno’s Retirement Ceremony, he spoke about his wife, Linda.

“She is the epitome of selfless service. She always put others before herself. She’s always been by my side—through the good and the bad. She’s always been the strength of our family.”

Next, he highlighted the sacrifices of ALL spouses:

“It’s often hard for me to stand up here and make other people understand how much our spouses sacrifice. You don’t understand… everything that they do every day in order to make us a better Army. I don’t believe there is any other profession that we count on our spouses to do so many things, and Linda is the epitome of that.”

In Colin Powell’s Retirement Speech, Powell  had this to say about his wife, Alma, when he retired:

“Over those 31 years, we moved to 22 different houses but she made sure that we never change homes. She shared every dark moment. She has been my partner and my supporting pillar over all those years. She has been a perfect Army wife, inspiring others and representing the nation so well around the world. Without her love and caring, I cannot imagine what my life would have been like. So Alma, darling, and this is your day too, I thank you. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing this journey. I will never be able to fully express my gratitude so let me just say, “Thank you darling.” 

When all was said and done,

they both gave thanks for the things their spouses did for their marriage, for their family, and for the military community.

Their words were not grand tributes to all the things their spouses had accomplished for themselves, but rather a simple “thank you for loving me enough to endure this life.”

Sometimes, all you need to hear to get through another day is a simple “thank you” from your service member or from anyone. It is important to remember that what milspouses do is often invisible and taken for granted, but it matters in ways that may not been seen until you are looking at it in a rear view mirror.

And guess what? When all is said and done…..

All that matters is that YOU are ok with the way you spent your time in this crazy military life.

Some of you work.

Some of you stay home.

Some of you stay home and work.

Some of you dream big, looking to the next step.

Some of you stay mired in the realities of the day.

Some of you wore the uniform.

Some of you take care of  the uniform.

But all of you will be standing next to your soldier as they step out of the uniform. At the end of their time in the military, you will know how much you supported them, and so will they.

When all is said and done,

THAT is enough…

YOU are enough!

*For more articles like this, check out We See Each Other and for ideas on how to appreciate a military spouse, check out Ways to Celebrate Military Spouse Appreciation Day