When Army Retirement is on the Horizon

Last night my husband said something that brought instant tears to my eyes.

There was nothing about a move.

There was nothing about a deployment.

“In twelve days I can drop my retirement packet.”

I have no idea why, but that sent an instant chill through my bones and brought tears to my eyes. It is here. The time in his career where he can actually make that decision, and it will count.

Let me back up a little bit.

I can remember when my husband, as a medic, hit E-7. This was a pretty big deal as he did it on his first look, and he was only 10 years in. I have been told this is a pretty big deal and looks great career wise. I honestly believe it, because my husband has been nothing but an amazing soldier. I know this because I have been told this by people I absolutely admire and trust.

A couple years later he made E-8 on his first look. Another accomplishment I was so certain of before it happened, I almost bought his new rank patches as a gift. I could feel it was going to happen. 

These promotions also meant we were becoming the old people of the enlisted Army world. He was nearing that 18-year mark, and that meant decisions had to be made, but I kept putting those to the back of my mind because of two things.

1. Not my decision to make as it is his job and happiness and, ultimately, his decision.

2. I remember him telling me way back in the day that he wanted to be the guy in uniform with a chest full of hardware, so Sgt. Maj. has always been how I saw this would go.

Fast forward, and there are now 12 days until he can drop his retirement packet. 

Now I have all kinds of irrational and rational fears flying through my head that keep concentration and sleep at arm’s length. 

What will happen next?

Will he be happy?

What will life outside the military be like for him?

What will life outside the military be like for me?

Will we be okay financially?

How do we stay connected and get the info we need through retirement?

What is life outside the military like?

I know there is time to figure these things out, but there is one thing that has to be figured out, and soon.

What will he do next if he really retires?

My husband is not the kind of guy who likes to be idle. He will need to do something. He keeps asking me what he should do, which is not fair, in my eyes. I don’t want to be the one blamed if he hates it. I don’t want to be dealing with someone who is miserable at this new place of employment.

Did you know that the suicide rate of newly retired vets is 44.5 for every 100,000? I know that may not seem huge to some people but it is still a number that is out there, and we will be in that 100,000 soon enough. People may think I am crazy for even knowing this, but it is a real fear I have. People take their lives when they leave the military for many reasons, but one of the main ones is that they have no purpose.

Out of all the fears I have, this is the one that scares me most. 

Anyone know of a support group for people who are having a spouse consider retirement? 

I am only half joking.

I keep hoping something will change and show him that he actually doesn’t hate what he is doing and will consider staying.

Check on me in 13 days.